AWAKENING

who should die first the wife or the husband?

2012-01-24T03:07:00.001-08:00

Disclaimer I have no intention to hurt any one’s feelings or sentiments

While talking to one old widower and another old widow, the idea of this post came

Most of the ladies love and pamper their husbands to no limits, they take care of him (husband),look after his medicines, keep an eye on his movements, monitor his intake of foods, help him select his clothes etc etc. control his cholesterol, sugar , force him to go for walks . In general the wife makes the husband totally dependent on her.

They will rush home after any outing – “he must have come home, I have to give him his tea “

The wife always says “I want to die before my husband, Suhagan marna chahti hu”.

Has she ever thought that if she dies before the husband who will take care of him once she goes? She has made him so much dependent on her, rather made him handicapped to the extent that he will not take his medicine on his own.

Doesn’t she realize that once she dies the husband will be left alone with no one to take care of him, give him medicines?

How can the same woman who can’t bear the thought of leaving her husband alone for a single day think about leaving him for a lonely life without her?

Actually the best solution to save the old couples from depression because of death of the partner, the couple should die together so that no one suffers the loneliness, the feeling of left alone, the isolation and the depression

IF INSULTING IS MADE PUNISHABLE

2012-01-21T01:08:00.000-08:00

IF INSUTLTING IS MADE PUNISHABLE

Just imagine what would happen if insulting was made a crime let me list all those who will be behind the bars or who will be punished

1. All the husbands for insulting their wives at every given chance.

2. Rest of the men for insulting women by abusing them (verbally as well as physically).

3. All those political leaders who insult the faith reposed on them by public.

4. All those friends who insult friendship by cheating on them.

5. All those children who insult their parents.

6. All those parents who insults their children by their sarcastic comments or expect much more from their children than they are capable of doing.

7. All those citizens who insult our legal system by violating the laws.

8. All those people who insult our religious values by talking against any particular religion or misusing the religious places.

9. All those women who insult women hood by indulging in acts which are demeaning to all the women

10. All those beggars who insult the emotions of philanthropists by presenting a false sob story and taking alms from them.

11. ------

12. -----

13. ------

The list is unending

If all these people are punished, our judiciary and legal system will have a tough time by putting them behind the bars

BUT the question is who will punish the insulters?

The law makers, the reformers, the judiciary themselves insult the legal system, rules and regulations.

So if there is no one to impart punishment what is the alternative?

Go on getting insulted and go on insulting others ????????????????

Is it 7 khoon maaf or is it Million Khoon maaf ?

2011-02-21T18:41:00.000-08:00

Is it 7 khoon maaf or is it Million Khoon maaf ?

I don’t think so

It is millions of khoon maaf to the the whole team of this nonsensical movie

I am no film critic so don’t want to go into the technalities of the movie

But one thing is sure

The whole team of this movie has gone away with millions of khoon maaf

Khoon of time of millions of people ( 2 and half hour of movie, time spent in planning to see the movie, book the tickets, actually going to the theaters , and then coming back and of course pulling one’s hair)

Khoon of money spent on watching this movie in theaters (tickets, buying those popcorns and colas plus transportation)

Khoon of the relations between the people who went to watch the movie together (each one must have cursed the other for taking him along for this movie)

Khoon of our expectations over the movie and the desire to watch ts one and only one passable song.( darling ghar mein baith kar time pass karo)

Why this discrimination with our own people?

2011-02-21T04:41:00.000-08:00

Why this discrimination with our own people?

Khabhi Khabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai --- post No. 1 ( I am going to pen down my many thoughts which keep dancing in my brain)

I am not very politically oriented person and I have nothing against any person of any nationality or country.

But this thought just occurred to me

I was warned against keeping servants from Bihar or UP.

The common advice given by people is that as the servants come from very poor and backward areas, they are bound to resort to stealing. And this generalization has come from some stray cases of servants getting caught or indulging in petty thefts (at times big ones also)

I am very thankful to such concerned friends and well wishers

But then just one thought came

If we are asked to exercise extra caution against the people from our country then why don’t we use this discretion when dealing with people from other countries?

We all know that they are responsible for most of the terrorist attacks and activities in India, even then we don’t mind inviting them for our TV shows, or for our games or for using their voice in our movies?

For once I ditto the thoughts of Shiv Sena

We invite their artists to our country, give them award, pay them handsomely to appear in our reality shows, act in our movies, and sing for our artists.

Granted we are a generous lot of citizens and we Indians don’t carry grudges against any one, we are very forgiving, we are very big hearted , for us every one is equal

But then don’t we expect the same reciprocation from them. How many artist from our country have to gone to neighbouring country to take part in their shows or sing in their movies.

EK HAATH LE EK HAATH DE

Doesn’t this philosophy hold good for us?

Are we in so much awe with their artists that we allow them to supersede our own artists and willingly give them what can easily be given to our own people?

Or are we so thick skinned that the inhuman acts of those people doesn’t affect us? Or are we immune to the terrorist acts of those people.

I am surprised at the benevolence of so many Indians that they are ready to let go the barbaric acts of them .

If we really believe in the ideals of Gandhiji “ put forward your second cheek if someone slaps on u the other one” then why doesn’t this hold good when dealing with our fellow citizen

child sexual abuse --- can we do any thing about it?

2011-02-16T03:08:00.000-08:00

I am too stunned to react to the news that appeared in a daily that a 8 -year-old girl from a slum in Mumbai repeatedly complained last month that her teacher was “touching and fondling her private parts,”. When the girl’s parents complained, the principal called them “regressive” and blamed them for damaging the school’s reputation. The girl now stays at home to help cook and clean, her school bag lying in a locked cupboard, her scholastic career over

Daily there are cases of sexual abuse of children all over India. Most of them go unreported and people are unaware of it but child abuse is there in all sections of society. Even the higher stratum of society which is considered to be the educated and most progressive section of the society is actively involved in it.

The silence from the victim and her/his family encourages the abuser to feel that he is safe to sexually abuse.

The worst part is most of the children are not aware that they are being abused and the children are growing up not knowing their rights have been violated. Most of the victims bury the abuse as a painful and shameful memory never to be told to anyone.

Children are expected to respect and obey authority figures such as parents, teachers, guidance counselors and principals and not question their actions and due to their innocence and blind faith in the elders that they don’t realize that they are being sexually abused and by the time they realize the shame and the fear makes them suffer the torture in silence.

I really shudder to think of the psychological consequences and the scars left by such perverted acts of the elders.

One more thing if these perverted elders want to satisfy their sexual urges why do they have to spoil the life of such innocent buds, why can’t they find partners of their own age?

Following are some of the links of news items appeared in news papers regarding sexual abuse of children in the last few days

MUMBAI: A 35-year-old man from Chembur was arrested for raping and sodomising a 10-month-old infant. The accused, Ramkisan Surajmal Harijan, a resident of Mankhurd-Ghatkopar Link Road, took the baby away on Tuesday night on the pretext of babysitting her after which he raped her.

Child abuse cases in city on the rise - The Times of India http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/mumbai/Child-abuse-cases-in-city-on-the-rise/articleshow/1370246.cms#ixzz19KkS3Cyf

NEW DELHI: The National Commission for Protection of Child Rights has received 75 cases of child abuse, including cases of corporal punishment upto October 31, with the highest number being reported from the national capital and Uttar Pradesh.
75 cases of child abuse reported this year - The Times of India http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/75-cases-of-child-abuse-reported-this-year/articleshow/6969299.cms#ixzz19KlBJhl6

http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Scripting/ArticleWin.asp?From=Archive&Source=Page&Skin=TOINEW&BaseHref=TOIM/2010/04/07&PageLabel=3&EntityId=Ar00308&ViewMode=HTML&GZ=T )

http://news.rediff.com/slide-show/2010/oct/27/slide-show-1-50-pc-indian-kids-face-sexual-abuse-in-schools.htm

http://findarticles.com/p/news-articles/times-of-india-the/mi_8012/is_20060921/sexual-abuse-children-rampant-society/ai_n39425306/

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/More-than-50-Indian-kids-face-sexual-abuse/articleshow/6812170.cms

CAN'T WE DO ANY THING ABOUT IT?

what can we as the concerned population of our country do to save these children?

No age bar on having NON PENETRATIVE SEX

2011-02-01T01:27:00.000-08:00

This is neither my idea nor these are my words but this is the news on the front page of Times of India

“ BILL SEEKS TO ALLOW 12 YEAR OLDS TO HAVE NON PENETRATIVE SEX

Don’t believe me then

http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Scripting/ArticleWin.asp?From=Archive&Source=Page&Skin=TOINEW&BaseHref=TOIM/2011/02/01&PageLabel=1&EntityId=Ar00106&ViewMode=HTML&GZ=T

That means 12 year olds can indulge in sexual acts (except for the penetration) with children of their age.

Even in advanced countries like USA and UK the official age for having consent sex is 16 -18 then how come a country like ours can encourage the not so developed (psychologically, emotionally, and physically ) children to have sex?

Is it the sign of progression/growth/advancement?

Or is it the sign of further deterioration of our moral ethics?

Will this bill not encourage young ones to indulge in immoral acts?

Are we not corrupting the young innocent minds by legally permitting them to indulge in all the foreplay and the associated acts?

According to the said bill

Any consensual non penetrative sexual ac is not an offence when engaged in between two children who are both over 12 years.

As far as my understanding goes in future if the bill is passed then for the children till the actual penetration is there no other sexual act will be punishable.

That means they can go to any extent and cross any limit to have physical relation with children of their age or within 2 years of their age

I wonder what was Ms. Aparna Bhat thinking when she along with others drafted this bill?

According to her this bill is to decriminalize sexual exploration by children.

So if the said bill sent by the ministry of women and child development to all the states is approved and passed that means we can say bye bye to our moral values and coolly watch our young ones to enjoy sexual acts?

men sex and lust

2011-01-24T08:45:00.000-08:00

I am too stunned to comment on the news that appeared in today’s newspaper

“A 2 YEAR OLD GIRL WAS RAPED BY AN ADULT MALE”

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2011/01/24/men-sex-and-lust/

parents vs children — is there a way out?

2011-01-22T01:18:00.000-08:00

This is neither a pro parents nor anti children post but the issue raised has been in existence since generations. Like the famous war between mother in law and the daughter in law, the differences between the parents and children are there to stay.

Came to know about a real life Baagban/Avataar story

This is not a stray example of life of a senior citizen but these sorts of examples have become part and parcel of our life.

In This particular case ( many senior citizens will identify with this)— retired father in law, sick mother in law , daughter in laws wants in laws to live separately, sons have already got all the property transferred in their name, and parents complaint “ our children are very rude to us, don’t talk to us, treat us useless liability”

—- so what should the parents do?

Harsh realities like this should be taken as lesson for every one. be it the old parents or the young parents, the present day young generation who are the culprits and also the children of the present day young generation.

I am not casting value judgment on anyone’s behaviour or attitude but just sharing some of my doubts and confusions which are baffling me:

Do the parents give birth to children because they want old age security or whether they want to satisfy their maternal/paternal instincts? ( This reminds me of one dialogue from a movie in which the son says” I didn’t ask you to give me birth, you wanted to satisfy your sexual as well as parental desires, why expect something in return from me, I didn’t ask you to give me a better future, and sacrifice your life. this was your decision, why expect any thing in return from me?”
Should the parents expect any thing from the children? Do they love and slog to give a better future to their children with the expectation that the children will repay them in their old age? Do they treat their children as investment which will reap returns in their old age?
Parents go to any extreme to take care of children, they sacrifice their comforts, sleep, their life, even their young age to give a better future to children and what do they get in return – the 3 I’s – insults, isolation, and insecurities?(Link)
The children these days are very quick in making their parents aware of their responsibilities but what about the duties of the children? Are the children so selfish that they don’t realize the sacrifices made by the parents for them, or their responsibility towards the ones who gave them a comfortable future? Have the breed of children become selfish and materialistic.
Won’t the present day children become tomorrow’s old parents? Won’t their children learn from their behaviour?
Should the parents become selfish and think about their life only?
Why should the parent save money for the future if it doesn’t give them comfort in their later life?
Won’t it be better if the parents don’t give away their life savings to the children in sudden fit of love for them? Rather they should keep everything with them (be it cash/property/ bank deposits/ shares etc) till their end , such arrangements should be made that in event of death of one of the parent the survival still retains the control over the finances till his/her end thus one of the partner is not left at the mercy of any one and continues maintaining his/her financial independence.
Will it create a more harmonious relation between the parents and children if they live separately thus no interference from any quarter in each other’s life? Each to his own?
Should the senior citizen shift to localities where they have like minded and same age people as their companions ( I don’t mean old age home but a society where the same age people are there to give each other company and take care of each other)(link)
the elderly group should keep themselves occupied in some constructive work so as to maintain their dignity, self esteem and self respect

Can any one suggest any way out of this conflict ?

Can something be done to maintain the love, affection and caring between the parents and children/

Is there a way by which dignity, respect, independence of both the parties is maintained?

AN EXCLUSIVE GOD NEEDED FOR WOMEN

2010-12-23T08:45:00.000-08:00

The idea for this came from DG’s post.

We all know that we have different Gods for different needs/occasions

We have Goddess Laxmi for wealth

We have Goddess Saraswati for education

We have Lord Shiva for marriage of girls

We have Ganpati as Vighanharta

We have Indra for rains

So on and so forth

Then we have some exclusive Gods and temples for Men – only men can worship them, or go to their temple or touch them like Shani dev, Hanumanji, or Sabrimala in South.

But to my knowledge we don’t have a God exclusively for women – a God to whom a woman in distress can turn to. A God ,who will cater only to women.

A God in whose temple men will be treated as trespassers and who will be prosecuted if try to enter the temple.

A god who will listen to the problems of women only ,without any prejudice.

A God ,who will come to the rescue of women who are either the victim of exploitation by men or women who are subjected to humiliation and insults by the members of their own sex—the MILS and SILS or the other women.

A God who will not get polluted or whose temple will not become dirty by the entry of women who are in their monthly cycle.

Talking of discrimination

Women are not allowed to touch some of the men Gods like Shanidev or Hanumanji or Manibhadraji or Kshetrapalji but there is no restriction on men to touch the She Gods

Rather all the Pujaris of all the temples be it of a He God or a She God are men.

These men Pujari do the Puja, change the clothes of the She Gods etc.

There is no restriction on them.

I wonder when it comes to matter of God why should there be any discrimination

It is the God who has made woman, it is he who is responsible for the monthly cycles of women ( without these cycles the survival of human race will not be possible) then how come women during this period are considered untouchables?

I think the women during this particular period should be treated with dignity, respect rather than some member of outcaste group. Talking of the monthly cycles in some communities the women during these 4 days are made to sleep on floor, not enter the kitchen, not touch any one.

The height of such humiliation was when the marriage of a girl was postponed just before her PHERAS , The BAARAT had come to her door, all relatives from both the sides were there. Suddenly the girl got her periods. And guess what—it was announced to the whole group present there that due to this reason the marriage will take place after 4 days as she had become impure and could not attend any religious function. So the girl’s side had to take care of the whole baarat for 4 days and the whole world came to know about the whole story. just imagine what humiliation that girl must have felt

Is suppose there was a separate God for Women the girl could have gone to her/his temple and got married there.

Mr GOD are you listening to me?

Please give some time to the mother of the human race and make special provision for her

(I hope all the other Gods who are only for men do not get angry with me . I apologize to all of them . This post is not written to annoy or criticize the ways of GOD but to request him to give some special consideration to women also.)

better to convert to Jainism ? :-) :-)

2010-12-20T23:33:00.000-08:00

http://http//anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/12/21/better-to-convert-to-jainism/

with the rising prices onion going to Rs 80/- per Kg and garlic selling at Rs 400/- per Kg it is better to convert into Jainism or take a vow not to eat these two priced items .
atleast by taking a vow we are surely to become close to God ( some people believe so) and ofcourse we are going to save and add to our monthly budget
The day is not very far when people who will be fortunate enough to afford these two items will surely flaunt them with pride in see through bags and the less privilaged lot will oogle at these elite group with envy.

why should a parent prove his love to the child?

2010-12-17T03:54:00.000-08:00

is there any need for a parent to reaffirm his love to his children?
http// anjugandhi.wordpress.com

This is our Government

2010-12-09T02:13:00.001-08:00

A sattire on our Government
a must read for every one
http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/12/09/this-is-our-government/

God- Please help me

2010-12-08T12:30:00.000-08:00

is it ok to pray to different GODS at the same time or one should stick to one God only? does it show lack of faith in any one particular God?

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/12/09/god-please-help-me/

Why ban only two serials—ban most of the hindi serials on TV

2010-11-19T10:06:00.000-08:00

Why ban only two serials—ban most of the hindi serials on TV
read about how Hindi serials are corrupting every one's mind
http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/11/19/why-ban-only-two-serials%E2%80%94ban-most-of-the-hindi-serials-on-tv/

MAA KA LAADLA / JORU KA GULAM –who is he actually?

2010-11-18T10:19:00.000-08:00

read about the plight of the poor man who is the victim of the proprietorship battle between the mother and the wife

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/11/18/maa-ka-laadla-joru-ka-gulam-who-is-he-actually/

one more dilemma of life

2010-10-13T06:14:00.000-07:00

The whole life style can change in just few minutes. My motto of life from LIVE TO EAT has changed into EAT TO LIVE

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/10/13/one-more-dilemma-of-life/

Won't God listen to us if we pray to him silently?

2010-09-18T07:55:00.000-07:00

I just fail to understand if God is every where then what is the need to pray at top of voice. He can hear it even if we pray silently.

Or is it the more we shout, happier he will be and will shower more blessings on us.

We are funny people, it is Ganpati time now, and then it will be Navratri time, then the time for Mata ka Jagrata. or any other Puja in the temple. use of loudspeakers has become a must to show our dedication to God.

Cannot we pray to God without causing noise pollution and disturbing others?

People who want to pray or indulge in Bhakti why cannot they do silently, why do they have to make such a big hue and cry about it and be such show offs.

Will God not listen to our prayers if we pray with low volumes?

The only good thing that came out of all this noise and show off of faith is that the staff of the office got to leave early as it has become impossible to work so it is party time for the staff .

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/09/18/wont-god-listen-to-us-if-we-pray-to-him-silently/

Height of selfishness

2010-08-31T08:56:00.000-07:00

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/08/31/height-of-selfishness/

BIG B disturbed over the metro as it will be an intrusion to his privacy.

The second phase of Metro may pass near his bungalow so it may disturb his privacy

Last year it was the nightingale of India who had raised her voice against the flyover which was to pass near her flat

These big shots never raised their voices against other fly overs or the metro on different routes. They must not have given it a thought also that the new flyovers or rail lines can affect the privacy of other citizens also.

Why should they bother after all it doesn’t concern them.

I am sure if someone had raised his voice against such work these celebrities would have been the first ones to criticize those citizens in the name of development and their being selfish and putting self over the welfare of Lakhs.

we are free indeed !!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

2010-08-14T04:42:00.000-07:00

On this Independence day, I take this opportunity to thank all our leaders, politicians, all the officials and each and every citizen of my country for freeing me from the tight embrace of moral and spiritual values of honesty, integrity, truthfulness , patriotism and loyalty. please read more on

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/08/14/we-are-free-indeed/

who says we are poor??/

2010-08-13T06:29:00.000-07:00

17.8 million tones of food grain, enough to feed 200 million people for
a year, is being wasted because of shortage of storage facilities.
Flower pots worth 50 Lakhs purchased to beautify Delhi .
80,000 crore being spent unaccounted over the Commonwealth Games.
1000 Kg of gold used to make the dome of a temple.
100 Kg gold offered at Hindu Temple
Cost of wedding dress of a celebrity just Rs five Lakhs.
Twenty five crores spent on three days function of a wedding

and we are poor?????????

Where should the strong one go to cry?

2010-08-08T12:33:00.000-07:00

WHERE SHOULD THE STRONG ONE GO TO CRY--- I have yet to come across a couple where both the partners are equally strong both emotionally and psychologically.where should the strong one go to cry or on whose shoulder should he lean on ------

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/08/09/where-should-the-strong-one-go-to-cry/

Mera Bharat Mahan

2010-08-06T10:02:00.000-07:00

can we proudly say MERA BHARAT MAHAN?

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/08/06/mera-bharat-mahan/

Let us change each other

2010-08-05T09:49:00.000-07:00

In a meeting yesterday someone joked that A woman always tries to change the habits of her husband after marriage and then after some time of marriage she complaints,” you are not the same person I married to? You have changed”

for more please read

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/08/05/let-us-change-each-other/

We women are so funny and shrewd  but the men are no less 

2010-07-31T02:08:00.000-07:00

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/07/31/we-women-are-so-funny-and-shrewd-%EF%81%8A-but-the-men-are-no-less-%EF%81%8C/

A mockery called social work

2010-07-28T21:49:00.000-07:00

But here comes the punch “Now that we will be meeting every month I will have to buy so many new dresses. After all I cannot repeat the same dress”. And as everyone wears designer clothes even I will have to invest in some new dress every month.“After the visit to some welfare institute we will go to some restaurant and spend some quality time there. This way we will have at least one outing every month. We are also planning to go to far off places—this month we are going to —- (a place just two hours from where they reside) .The weather is no nice It will be picnic cum social work” “ everything is so meticulously planned.”

So now just imagine the scenario “a group of ladies in their designer wear( all new ones bought specially for the occasion) meeting once a month, going to some orphanage/hospital/ institute/old age home in their sooooooo very fancy cars, donating either money or some articles and then after wards going to some posh restaurant to get rid of the tiredness and spend time with friends and then return home with a satisfactory smile on their faces that they have done some good deed and some good social work for the society. After all it is their duty as human beings to help others

for more please read

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/07/29/a-mockery-called-social-work/

my latest passion

2010-07-21T10:12:00.000-07:00

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/07/21/my-latest-passion/

Change of heart

2010-07-15T04:55:00.000-07:00

does the feelings of a person changes with the transplantation of heart

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/07/15/change-of-heart/

Eat to live or eat to die

2010-07-11T21:12:00.000-07:00

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/07/12/eat-to-live-or-eat-to-die/

Marriage – realisation of so many dreams!!!!!!!

2010-07-05T03:44:00.000-07:00

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/07/05/marriage-realisation-of-so-many-dreams/

To watch or not to watch?

2010-06-30T03:09:00.000-07:00

Just imagine a day without TV? It is like the biggest punishment.

The serials have become an integral part of our life. It is like watching serial is a punishment but not watching it is the severe form of punishment.

And tell me who wants severe punishment? so to avoid it watch and then crib like I am doing.

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/06/30/to-watch-or-not-to-watch/

IT IS THE RELATION THAT MATTERS NOT THE INDIVIDUAL

2010-06-28T01:37:00.000-07:00

WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT -- THE name given to a relation or the persons involved in the relation

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/06/28/it-is-the-name-given-to-the-relation-that-matters/

father dear father

2010-06-19T01:56:00.001-07:00

to my father on father's day

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/06/19/father-dear-father-2/

Over pampered children make egoistic parents/partners????????

2010-06-14T03:15:00.000-07:00

effects of over pampering the children
please do read

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/06/14/over-pampered-children-make-egoistic-parentspartners/

Is this justice

2010-06-07T09:29:00.000-07:00

read about my take on the verdict given today on Bhopal gas tradedy

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/06/07/is-this-justice/

A husband like Ram????????

2010-06-02T05:50:00.000-07:00

do we want a husband like Ram???????? pl read my take on this topic and do share your views on the same

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/06/02/a-husband-like-ram/

If this not gender discrimination ?

2010-05-25T07:19:00.000-07:00

do read about the sexual discrimination by the educationist of our country

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/05/25/if-this-not-gender-discrimination/

This Happens only in India?

2010-05-24T07:17:00.000-07:00

A marriage can be broken just after three hours of its solemnization

Reason being the girl’s mother forgot to serve water to the boy’s mother

how can the poor parents of a bride commit such a heinous crime of not bowing down to the dictates/demands/wishes of the groom’s family?

Didn’t they know that heavens will fall if they annoy the groom’s side? the girl and her side should be punished for committing such a sin.

If don’t believe me then please go through the following link

http://navbharattimes.indiatimes.com/articleshow/5966713.cms

Three cheers for the the brave parents who refused to send their daughter with the boy’s side once they started demanding dowry after all the marriage functions were over.

wish there were more supportive and courageous parents like them

When is the right time?

2010-05-18T23:46:00.000-07:00

when should the parents intervene ?

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/05/19/when-is-the-right-time/

think before advice

2010-05-17T11:24:00.001-07:00

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/05/17/think-before-advice/

A SALUTE TO THOSE WHO MADE ME —– THE MOTHER

2010-05-08T20:29:00.000-07:00

my reflections on my children on this mother's day

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/05/09/a-salute-to-those-who-made-me-the-mother/

YES—- I AM A HYPOCRITE

2010-05-05T02:30:00.000-07:00

please visit the following link and share your views on it

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/05/05/yes-i-am-a-hypocrite/

IS IT BEING RELIGIOUS???????????

2010-05-02T09:00:00.000-07:00

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/05/02/is-it-being-religious/ ‎

Expectations – the killer of relationship

2010-04-25T00:36:00.000-07:00

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/04/25/expectations-%E2%80%93-the-killer-of-relationship/

Social networking sites ——–think twice before posting personal information

2010-04-22T00:54:00.001-07:00

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/04/22/social-networking-sites-think-twice-before-posting-personal-information/

Religion — a conflicting issue

2010-04-19T07:44:00.001-07:00

pl read about my confusions regarding religion

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/04/19/religion-a-conflicting-issue/

Should parents draw a propriety line when dealing with grown up children?.

2010-04-18T08:18:00.000-07:00

hey friends
do read the following post and share your views about it.

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/04/18/should-parents-draw-a-propriety-line-when-dealing-with-grown-up-children/

I am 100 today

2010-04-16T02:48:00.000-07:00

hey friends please read about my journey till now in the blogging world

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/04/16/i-am-100-today/

God Please solve this dilemma

2010-04-14T23:14:00.000-07:00

pl share your views on this common dilemma which all of us face

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/04/15/god-please-solve-this-dilemma/

DREAMS NEVER DIE

2010-04-13T04:26:00.001-07:00

DO YOU DREAM?
DO YOU GET NIGHTMARES?
do share your experiences and do read about my fears

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/04/13/dreams-never-die/

What will people say? LOG KYA KAHENGE?

2010-04-12T01:39:00.000-07:00

read my reflections on people's opinion
and do share what you feel about it?

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/04/12/what-will-people-say-log-kya-kahenge/

Being a housewife and called so – something to be ashamed of???

2010-04-09T07:54:00.000-07:00

Why do the woman consider it to be shameful to be called as just housewives?

please share your reflections .

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/04/09/being-a-housewife-and-called-so-%e2%80%93-something-to-be-ashamed-of/

daughters not safe with fathers?

2010-04-07T01:13:00.000-07:00

pl share your views on this topic

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/04/07/daughters-not-safe-with-fathers/

women I am proud of you !!!!!

2010-04-05T07:41:00.000-07:00

Hi friends
do read my new post on the following and share your views
http://http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/04/05/women-i-am-proud-of-you/

OK TO KICK SON'S WIFE?

2010-03-24T12:00:00.000-07:00

pl share your views on the below stated post
do visit the link and leave your comments.

Is it Ok for the mother in law to kick her daughter in law ? http://bit.ly/anIdkU

Will following some rituals guarantee a happy married life?

2010-03-21T05:32:00.000-07:00

Ritual is rarely practical. This is why it conflicts with the New Woman. It’s not ritu al that ensures a marriage lasts a lifetime, it is mutual respect and love, which needs to be in a safe harbour to keep the great ship of wedding afloat.

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/03/21/will-following-some-rituals-guarantee-a-happy-married-life/

ONE CHILD SYNDROME

2010-03-20T07:59:00.000-07:00

To have one child or more

pl read and share your views

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/03/20/one-child-syndrome/

which is her house???????????

2010-03-15T11:22:00.001-07:00

I read about this incident in one of the weekly magazine.

A married woman with a marriage tenure of 30 years had to hear hundreds of time hear, “leave my house, this is my house. Either do whatever I say else leave my house. This is my house so the final say is mine” from her husband.

After the death of her husband she had to stay with her son. Now the son tells her, “mother this is my house. Please let me do whatever I want to do”.

This is not a case in isolation.

Thousands of women undergo the same situation.

If after giving 30 years of life to the family and husband, looking after the house, working like a maid, cooking, washing, taking care of the household, bring up the children the women has to hear the words, :” this is my house” from the husband’s house then what is the standing of women even after so much education and liberation?

In the initial stages of married life she gets to hear the same words from her mother in law ( if it’s a joint family) this ——–“.

Then gradually as she starts treating her matrimonial house as her own, comes the bouncers from her husband — this ——-“

So which is her house?

Will she always stay in someone else’s house?

LOVE VS ARRANG3ED MARRIGE

2010-03-11T11:02:00.000-08:00

HI FRIENDS

do read my views on the above topic on

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/03/11/love-vs-arranged-marrige/

WAKE UP GIRLS—- AT LEAST ON THIS WOMEN’ DAY

2010-03-07T02:41:00.000-08:00

hi to all my blogging buddies

please read my views on the following link and do share your comments on it

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/03/07/wake-up-girls-at-least-on-this-women-day/

http://bit.ly/cuzHxC

musings of a married girl

2010-02-08T00:48:00.000-08:00

read the reflections of a recently married girl at the following link

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/02/08/musings-of-a-married-girl/

confusions of young minds

2010-02-04T20:37:00.000-08:00

"I was wondering over the effect of movies on the impressionable hearts and minds of young ones. I also realized that the young ones not only watch movies for time pass but they have the capability to discuss the realities of life in turn get more and more confused."

please visit the following link and share your reflections on the same

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/02/05/confusions-of-young-minds/

be in other man’s shoe to feel the pain

2010-02-03T19:48:00.000-08:00

pl feel free to visit the following link and leave your valuable comments

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/02/03/be-in-other-mans-shoe-to-feel-the-pain/

THE BLAME GAME we often play

2010-01-23T12:05:00.000-08:00

Ever heard of a game called BLAME GAME?

All of us are fond of playing this game

Pass on the blame on someone else and feel contented and relieved

Accuse someone else and pass on the onus of unhappiness to some person and feel happy

women keep away

2010-01-19T10:14:00.001-08:00

i was shocked to witness this discrimination against women at the airport today

pl read about it at the following link

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/01/19/women-keep-away/

suicides in students— who is responsible?

2010-01-18T02:27:00.000-08:00

Hey friends

do give your comments on the burning issue of rising rate of suicides in students

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/01/18/suicides-in-students-who-is-responsible/

why is this rape victim denied justice???

2010-01-11T20:50:00.001-08:00

If you believe in human dignity then do read the following post and share your comments

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/01/12/why-is-this-rape-victim-denied-justice/

IS IT STREE DHAN????

2010-01-11T09:28:00.000-08:00

pl read my new post at

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/01/11/is-it-stree-dhan/

and dont forget to share your views on this

looking forward to your comments

Put your loved one’s mind at rest—adopt ICE

2009-12-30T07:39:00.000-08:00

to save your near and dear ones some agonizing moments in times of emergency
please adopt IN CASE OF EMERGENCY ICE , store the numbers of all your closes ones who should be contacted in case of emergency in your mobile numbers under the name of ICE
ICE 1, ICE 2, ICE 3 ( in case of more than one contact numbers)

http://bit.ly/8VrrWM

Is Academic degree the only needed educations?

2009-12-29T08:34:00.000-08:00

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2009/12/29/is-academic-degree-the-only-needed-educations/

http://bit.ly/4WtNEG

who is more lucky-- parens with one child or parents with more than one child

2009-12-28T01:48:00.000-08:00

my blogging friends
do read my views on this burning topic and
please share your reflections on the same

http://bit.ly/7g8IsU

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2009/12/28/who-is-more-lucky-parents-with-one-child-or-paretns-with-more-than-one/

A TOUGH CHOICE

2009-12-19T03:30:00.000-08:00

pl read my new post at the following URL

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2009/12/19/a-tough-choice/

I LUST AFTER--------------

2009-12-17T08:45:00.001-08:00

I know all my blogging buddies will surely read my new post at will definitely share their views about the same.
pl dont disappoint me

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2009/12/17/i-lust-after/

GHAR JAWAI A TAG TO BE ASHAMED OF????

2009-12-12T00:42:00.000-08:00

pl read my reflection on the following link

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2009/12/12/ghar-jawai-a-tag-to-be-ashamed-of/

and dont forget to leave your impressions about the same

requesting you to continue your visit on my new URL

2009-12-04T23:05:00.000-08:00

I have moved to wordpress.
please copy the following URL in your favourites /followers list and do visit me there also
the blogging friendship which started from this site should not end now
although my address has changed but I am the same
so pl continue visiting me there too
http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/

Tattoos– symbol of Power/ fashion ?

2009-12-04T04:33:00.000-08:00

pl read my latest post on the following URL and don't forget to leave your reflections behind

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2009/12/04/tattoos-symbol-of-power-fashion/

MEN V/S WOMEN

2009-12-02T06:08:00.001-08:00

Pl visit my new post at the following address

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2009/12/02/men-vs-women/

Security/medical checks at International Airport —– a farce

2009-11-27T18:07:00.000-08:00

Hi,
As I have moved to Wordpress
please go to the following link and read my new post and do not forget to leave your comments behind

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2009/11/28/securitymedical-checks-at-international-airport-a-farce/

KURBAAN--- ANTI MUSLIMS???

2009-11-24T07:13:00.000-08:00

I have posted my views on Karan Johar's Kurbaan on the following link

do visit this link and share your views on the same

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2009/11/24/kurbaan-anti-muslims/

2009-11-19T09:27:00.000-08:00

pl visit my new post and don't forget to leave your imprints behind

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2009/11/19/a-perfect-relation

WHY MARRIAGE?????????

2009-11-16T07:37:00.001-08:00

HI
http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2009/11/16/why-marriage/
here is the link to my new post and i will look forward to your views and commets on it

IS IT LOVE???????

2009-11-05T18:05:00.000-08:00

pl read my new post at the follwing link and dont forget to leave your comments.

your every comment, reflections is the motivational force for my brain cells

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2009/11/06/IS%20IT%20LOVE

what is love?

2009-10-27T13:53:00.000-07:00

hi

do visit my new post at

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2009/10/27/what-is-love

A CONFLICTING SITUTATION

2009-10-25T10:46:00.000-07:00

Hi every body

as i have moved to wordpress

please go through my following post at the url given and do leave your reflections

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2009/10/25/a-conflicting-situation/

my first post from boston

2009-10-21T10:39:00.000-07:00

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2009/10/21/my-first-post-from-boston/

happy diwali to all

2009-10-16T18:50:00.000-07:00

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2009/10/17/happy-diwali/

WHAT IS YOUR RAASHI

2009-10-08T22:20:00.000-07:00

PL GO THROUGH THE FOLLOWING LINK AND DONOT FORGET TO LEAVE YOUR REFLECTIONS.

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2009/10/09/what-is-your-raashi/

PL VISIT MY NEW POST AT THE FOLLOWING ADDRESS

2009-10-05T02:24:00.000-07:00

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/the-dichotomoy-being-a-woman/

change of address----- keep visiting

2009-10-03T02:44:00.000-07:00

Hi friends

I am shifting to http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/

please add this list to your following list.

as i can not survive without your followships.

please keep visiting there and don't forget to leave your imprints behind. I value your comments as they are the motivating force behind my being in this world of blogging.

i am trying to import every thing from this site to the other site.

thanx

NAME CALLING

2009-10-02T08:31:00.001-07:00

“Husband files a case against his wife on the grounds of mental torture and cruelty because she called him Idiot, cheater, duffer “. Although the court rejected his application as they observed that mere calling one’s husband an Idiot or a duffer doesn’t qualify for legal action” ( news in the prominent newspaper last week)

The reason given by the wife for her calling names to her husband --- he had got married under false pretexts. He has given false information about himself that he was a first class Chartered Accountant whereas in reality he was merely a lower grade clerk

I am surprised at the audacity of the man who appealed to the competent authorities just because it was a blow to his male ego to be called names by his wife

I wonder why he didn’t realize that he had infact insulted the woman by giving wrong information about himself, his education, his career and his income.

How could he spoil the life of an innocent person like this? What about the dreams of the woman which must have been shattered by this act of cheating by the husband?

Didn’t he degrade the woman by marrying her under false pretexts?

And what about the millions of men, who humiliate, insults, manhandle tortures both physically and mentally and abuse their wives at each step. How many of such victimized women show enough courage to go and complaint about their husbands.

Leave aside going to court; most of the women don't even let their family know about the continuous hurling of abuses to them.

How much mental trauma the false representation of husband must have caused the wife to call her husband a cheater or an idiot, because in our society most of the women will go on suffering than to call their husbands any name.

For a man to use derogatory words like an idiot or a duffer or good for nothing creature, useless, brainless or other thousands of demeaning and at times words of unprintable nature for his wife is just casual style, most of the men think that it is their prerogative to abuse their wives as it proves their superiority over the women.

I overheard someone saying,” are apni biwi ko kuch bhi bol sakte hai, she also knows I don’t mean it actually but then jab gussa aata hai to biwi ko bol deta hu, aakhir vo apni hai”

I feel like saying VA VA VA, just because she is your own wife you can abuse her.

Moreover I think, words like idiot or duffer have become a part of our life. We use it so often, many times not meaning them exactly or not with the intention to hurt someone but they are used more as slangs than as an abuse.

So why raise such a hue and cry when a woman uses these words against her husband, although I am sure very few of Indian wives will be using such harmless words for their husbands because Indian wives sill respects their husbands, they still put husbands in high esteem,

I don’t think that the woman did anything wrong in calling her husband an idiot even if she meant it and for once I applaud the decision given by the court.

Rather I would have appreciated if she had used even more strong words against the husband, afterall he had misrepresented to the woman about himself. He had disgraced her in front of her friends and relatives. He was the one responsible for breaking the dreams of her.

ALL THAT GLITTERS IS DEFINETLY NOT GOLD

2009-10-01T05:32:00.000-07:00

THE ORGANIC THOUGHT wrote about desh ki Mitti today. I was just musing over his thoughts and then I was reminded of 2-3 incidences which made me express my feelings through this post.

I was talking to my travel agent today regarding my ticket to Boston and then he informed me that in USA air travelers have to pay $15-20 for every check in baggage.

I was surprised to know this fact. Was it to discourage the people to travel or was it to generate more money? (In India thank God, we are still allowed to check in huge bags free of cost)

And then today morning Neha informed me that she was not feeling well ,may be food poisoning.

I felt so helpless as I couldn’t do any thing sitting so far off from her except for advising her to take some medicine from the available stock with her or go to a doctor?

And then again I was in for a shock.

“ Mumma , you cannot just go to a doctor. You have to take an appointment with him”
“ But beta if there is an emergency?
“then go to the emergency department of a hospital and get admitted” she replied

I told her, “in India we visit the doctor any time we want, for a simple ailment we don’t take appointments. We can even call him in the night for an emergency situation. For that matter I can go to a local chemist and ask him to give me some medicine. Why don’t you go to your nearby chemist shop and take some medicine
“yes mom, but this is USA yahan aisa nahi hota. The chemist will not give any medicine without prescription”

The above facts along with my conversation with one of our family friend who had come for a vacation from the big world known as USA made me express my self so vehemently today

This friend of ours who had been living in America from last 25 or so years very emotionally expressed his views about the life in the advanced country.

I am putting his views now, sometime in his own words and sometimes in my own words
According to him most of the Indians there are ABCD i.e. AMERICA BASED CONFUSED DESIS.
They enjoy the comforts, the style of life there but when it comes to their values especially with their children most of them are in a fix. They want to bring up their children there amongst the natives of America, but they don’t want their children to adopt American culture, they want their children to adopt Indian moral values.

How is it possible? You let your child grow in that free environment yet you want them to adhere to Indian spiritual and moral values.?

Then he talked about the isolation most of the Indians feel there. They may form a major work force there, they may be earning fat pay packets, they may have invested in huge houses or cars or other comforts or they may have acquired the much sought after Green card, Yet they don’t feel the emotional attachment to that country which has given them the way and style of life which they always wanted.

He said, “ inspite of living in this part of world from last more than 25 years , I still feel my roots are still in India. Moreover the fact remains that we Indians are always considered as outsiders here. We may have Americans as our friends, we may work harder than most of them, but still they don’t consider us as one of them. We don’t feel that we belong to this world”.

“ we still feel a special bonding, a special attachment for India. Daily we follow the news of India, we celebrate all Indian festivals, any thing untowardly that happens there causes concern to us.

To quote him further, “the worst part is most of the Indians try to adopt the culture of America but the fact remains that they are neither there nor here. We try to become practical and unemotional like them but in deep in our hearts we still want the show of love, affection. We miss the warmth of India. We realize the worth of Indian culture only when we are away from that .

“ in India a working couple can by just spending a few thousand rupees can employ a full time servant or even part time ones who will clean the utensils, clothes, house and who will also cook the food. By spending just few hundreds rupees one can get his clothes ironed by a dhobi. And also in India we have parents who give us that emotional backing which we lack there”

“In India we can go for work, employ a servant to look after our child and we are rest assured that the child would be looked after properly under the supervision of our parents”
( how true).
He further said, “ most of the Indians settled there wants to come back to India ( only after saving a huge bank balance to that they can live a luxurious life in India)

He narrated an incidence when his child suddenly fell ill there and his wife was all alone. He said that was the time when they missed India.
“ If we would have been here, our neighbours would have run across to help us, our relatives would have come home, we could have knocked at the door of neigbhouring doctor in the middle of night and he would have come to help us without even raising his eyebrows.”

He went on and on about comparing both the life styles and the advantages of Living in India

“ yes, we get good salary there, we have big cars. Even students can afford cars there. We can wear branded clothes, we do have a better life style, we enjoy so many luxuries there but at what cost?”

“ we are still strangers there, we try to pretend that we are very happy with our big bank balances our jet life but deep in our hearts all ABCDs are emotionally starved”

I just wonder what is that attracts most of our youth to that world. Is it the glamour of a advanced nation or independent and free life style and of course lots of money ( in terms of Indian rupees because in dollars they may not be earning so much but when converted to INR it does make an impressive number) and if it is so than why do most of the ones settled abroad talk of coming back to India?
Another thing which I have noticed while talking to may people settled abroad is their guilt feeling towards their parents who are still in India.
Being Indians with Indian values and Indian upbringing where respect of elders, taking care of old parents is still given importance these migrated birds feel guilty as they are not fulfilling their duties towards their parents but then again the greed of having their own independent life lures them and takes precedence over their guilt feeling

Is it just the desire to acquire materialistic comforts which pulls the Indians to foreign countries? Because after talking to many NRIs I have realized that very few are really satisfied with their life there.
Is it really true “ALL THAT GLITTERS IS NOT GOLD”

BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER

2009-09-27T17:52:00.000-07:00

Just now was watching K3G on TV. Amitabh, the father asks SRK ( son) to leave the house because he got married against the father’s wishes.

Yesterday’s morning papers screamed Father locks 21 year old daughter in a room because she got married to a boy of different religion against father’s wishes. And the father filed a case against the boy.

Also met the son of a family acquaintance. He was upset because his parents had severed all ties with him because he had got married to a girl not from their caste and the father took it as a blow to his ego and a slap on his reputation.

All these similar incidences prove one thing, if the children don’t bow down to the wishes of father or parents with regard to their marriage, then the parents have the right to disown their children. as if the children are some commodity which can be owned or thrown away if doesn’t come to the expectations.

I just don’t understand that when the parents who live for their children, whose life revolves around their children, who are ready to do any thing to see a smile on their faces, who don’t think about their own personal comforts or discomforts but want to give the best of every thing to them even if it is beyond their capacity, suddenly change their tunes and becomes the villain in the life of their own children just because the children wants to spend the life with someone of their choice.

Does the family name, personal ego, IZZAT, society’s opinion takes precedence over the happiness and wishes of the children?

I don’t understand how choosing a life partner of one’s own choice spoils the reputation of family that too in today’s scenario?
How can parents impart such severe punishment to their children just because they didn’t listen to them? When the children are young, they commit so many mistakes ( although I don’t consider marrying outside the community as a mistake) the parents let go and try to ignore most of their mistakes or the parents try to fulfill all the possible desires of the children and give in to their children’s desires then why so much objection over the choice of life partner?

Why do parents doubt the judgement of their children when it comes to the matter of their marriage? If they think that the children are not mature enough to take the right decisions regarding their marriage then how can they think that the children are ready for marriage or shoulder the responsibility of matrimonial life?

Do the parents think that they are the better judge of what is good for their children? Do they think that the life partner chosen by them will be the ideal for their offspring? If so then why do so many arranged marriages also fail?

Another thing which surprises me is that the parents who literally throw their children out of their house or life, stop communicating with them , over a period of time mellows down and reconcile with the children.

Many a times I have seen after the birth of the grand child , or seeing the happiness of the couple the anger of parents specially the father cools down and then he starts sending feelers to the estranged children and then the things are back to normal ---- a happy family life.

I am sure it is the desire and the grandfatherly emotions along with the love for the own flesh and blood that makes the father let their feelings become more important than their egos and finally accept the new relation.

If the parents punish the children for taking the decision regarding their life on their own, won’t the children feel insecure ? will they ever gain the confidence to take decisions in their life independently.

Parents want children to become independent, take their own decisions, become responsible, then why do they discourage them and raise obstacles when they want to take the most important step in their life?

If parents have such an adamant attitude towards their children, then who will help the children overcome the teething problems of the new life? To whom the children will turn to in times of distress?

And God forbids if something goes wrong with the new relation then where will the children go for help and support? Will they feel comfortable to approach their parents to sort out their problems and help them find a way?

And when most of the time parents accept the new member in their family then why not give in gracefully in the initial stages and respect the decisions taken by the children. I am sure it will save much of heart breaks, sufferings and ill feelings towards each other.

But Yes, if the parents have some objections towards such issues then they should at least make the children understand their apprehensions, their doubts, their fears and the risk involved I suppose more than the caste, religion issues, what is more important is the economic parity, education, family background .

I have not heard of any case where the parents have not succumbed to the pressures of their inner self , their love for the children and have welcomed the children with their new relationships in their arms.

Then there are parents who inspite of knowing that the children are taking some wrong steps in their life, and who will not listen to their advice, still try to ignore and overlook the faults of their children.

After all BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER. We all know it.

History repeats itself

2009-09-21T11:16:00.001-07:00

I am just back from a flying visit to my mother’s place

Although the trip was only for a very short period but it gave me insight into my role as a daughter and also as a mother. And I realized one thing i.e. a mother is a mother whatever her age may be. Whether she is 75 years old or 50 years old or 25 years, the basic traits of a mother never changes.

She is always loving, forgiving, caring, over indulgent, over protective, over anxious and she overlooks and forgets all her physical sicknesses, physical discomforts when she wants to do something for her child. She goes out of her way to give happiness to her child and derives incomparable pleasure in doing petty things for them.

I realized so many things about myself which earlier I used to take for granted .also I got a chance to analyze my past and present and visualize my future

I also saw my mirror image in my mother

This time I tried to put my self in her shoes and then only could I understand her anxieties and her reaction to many situations in the past and also in the present.

In my young days when I was just a daughter I used to get irritated so many times whenever my mother used to advise me on certain issues or correct me. During those days I used to have only one answer,” mummy please let me take my own decisions, I have grown up,. I never for a second gave it a thought that how my mother must have felt when I used to snub her like this

But now when the roles have reversed, now that I have become a mother and I do the same things and when my children reply in the same manner I feel insulted or left out.

Most of the times I forgive the mistakes of my children, I overlook their indifference towards me and I always justify this by saying after all I am a mother , how can I carry any grudge against my own child, how can I be angry with them. But then after meeting my mother or talking to other mothers I have realized that I am not doing any thing great. All mothers are the same. Inspite of me not liking some of her thinking or her beliefs and my telling her so , she forgives me and my insolence. Don’t I do the same with my children?

My behavior towards my children is a reflection of my mother’s behavior towards me.

And of course my children’s behavior is a mirror image of mine towards my mother.

When I pester my children for eating or I want to know little tits bits about their life, at times they get irritated and find my attitude as an intrusion in their privacy. But don’t I feel the same when my mother does the same thing.

It is truly history repeating itself.

I always laugh at my mother when she gets excited over my visit to her and she starts asking me what I would like to eat and she goes out of her way to make my favourite dishes, but then don’t I behave in the same way when Neha comes to India. The pain of parting which I feel for my daughter when she goes ,even my mom must be feeling it when I leave her.

The pampering which my mother or father gave me the is similar to what I shower on my children and most of the time the reaction of my children is the same as that of mine when I was just a child.

There is a saying in Hindi which goes “JAAKI NA PHATI BIWAI VA KYA JAANE PIR PARAYI” ( literal meaning of this saying is till you get pain in the cracks of your heels you will not understand what other person is feeling) till you experience the same pain; you will not realize what the other person is feeling.

Until or unless we put ourselves in the shoes of others we will not realize what he is undergoing.

One can understand the feelings of a mother or a parent one only when he or she becomes one.

Gurur brahmaa gurur vishnuh , gurur devo maheshvarah, gurur saakshaat parabrahma tasmai shree gurave namah.

2009-09-13T04:25:00.000-07:00

Gurur brahmaa gurur vishnuh , gurur devo maheshvarah, gurur saakshaat parabrahma tasmai shree gurave namah.
We all know in India teachers have always been treated at par with Brahma, the supreme power and teaching profession has always been considered one of the noblest professions.

The teachers in India are very lucky. They are honoured by their students, twice in a year, one on 5th September (teachers day) and then on Guru Purnima too .

Yesterday a very old student of mine (I used to take tuition once upon a time) stopped me on the road and said, “Teacher belated happy teacher’s day. I m sorry I could not come on that day to wish you.”

I cannot explain the flow of emotions I had at that moment. I had taught her and her younger brother during their primary school days which was about 10 years back. That day and till today both of them never forget to come to my place on 5th September with a teachers day card and a gift..

My brief fling with teaching has given me a special high, an unique satisfaction, a feeling of being worthwhile, which I don’t think any thing else can give me.

I don’t think I was a very good teacher. ( they still remember how I used to punish them for not doing the home work and thinking of that now makes me feel ashamed of myself , how could I be so strict with them) but inspite of this both the brother and sister regularly keep me updated with the progress they are making. And visit me thrice a year for sure, On Id day( with sewaiyan), teacher’s day and on rakhi as the sister always ties rakhi to my son (although they are muslims)

Neha , my daughter still wishes her two favorite teachers from her school days even now.( but I think she forgot this time as till now she hasn’t mentioned any thing about it) she not only wished them from even from Boston but I remember she even wished her NEU professors on this day and explained to them the importance of this day.

One of my husband’s juniors (advocates) used to wish him on Guru Purnima and even after leaving his job she continued wishing him for quite some time but then she suddenly stopped wishing

This year also his rest of the juniors gave him a bouquet and a gift on this day. Probably seeing this he felt very emotional and he also sent a bouquet to his senior under whose guidance he had learnt the basics of his legal practice.

What I am trying to say is that in India Teachers are given high respect and value ,may be because they enlighten us with profound knowledge and power . While parents gave life to our body teachers gave life to our soul.
And as an expression of thankfulness we celebrate teacher’s day in India every year on September 5 as Teacher’s day and also wish our Guru’s on Guru Purnima to pay our tribute to the teachers for their incomparable deed of preaching and their devotion and hard work..

We all know the story of Eklavaya and how he sacrificed his right thumb as Guru dakshina to Guru Drona.
Such is the respect which we Indians give to our teachers.
I wonder if any where in world same sort of practice of celebrating teacher’s day is followed

What scares me the most is the thought that may be one day when my these two students are done with studies, well settled in their life they may forget me . ( the way my husband’s junior suddenly stopped wishing him on these days).

The gift or the card which they give is not important what is important is the love, respect they shower on me, what is important is the thought that even after so many years they still remember me and come to my house to wish me and also share their achievements in terms of marks, awards or any thing else/

That reminds me on 5th September I was also honoured by my club members for being a teacher ( so what I am not teaching any more these days)
At that time I just wondered why only those who are in teaching profession officially, are honoured. Why, all the mothers who are the first teacher for the child are not honoured or remembered on this day?
I even told my president that his team should be honouring all the mothers as teachers too.
It is we the mothers who introduce our children to their first alphabet, we are the ones who teach them all the facts of life, we teach them the values, we guide them at every stage. I think along with the professional teachers the mothers should also be specially wished on these days.

To celebrate teacher’s day or mother’s day or any other day is just a way of publicly acknowledging the contribution made by them in our life. and every year, come August and I start looking forward to 5th september and subsequent visit of my these two students.

THE MOST DREADFUL DEMON

2009-09-09T10:36:00.000-07:00

While talking to ooglersgooglers today ,he mentioned that some celebrity has got cancer and my immediate reaction was Oh God!

Then he mentioned another one in the family who also has been detected with this killer disease. And my reaction again was, Baap re, very sad!, what will happen to the family? without even asking about the condition of the patient or the severity of the symptoms I just took for granted that the person will definetly succumb to death. ( as if others who are not suffering from cancer will never die)

Most of the people react in the similar way when they come to know of someone who is suffering from cancer. The word cancer has become synonymous with death sentence.

We all know that death is inevitable. Who so ever has come on this earth will go. No one is mortal.
Koi bhi amrut peekar nahi aaya hai that means all of us have to go.

Then why this phobia of this particular disease ( carcinophobia)?

There are so many other diseases which ultimately lead to the end of life. Then why do we dread this word cancer?
Is it because
1. This is incurable atleast after a certain stage.
2. Granted that earlier there was no cure for this disease and any one who fell prey to it be in the first stage or last stage will surely have a painful end.
3. Most of the times this disease is diagnosed at the last stage and then it is too late for any medicines to act?
4. The after effects of the chemotherapy are very painful. ( I read a novel by Danielle Steel where she has beautifully described the trauma a cancer patient undergoes and there she has portrayed the aftereffects of chemo)
5. That the end days are very painful for both , the patient and the persons who are looking after the patient.( my father went because of this only and although I did not witness his pain but have heard that it was intolerable and he used to suffer a lot)

Whatever may be the reason, but the mere thought of this word is shuddersome and distressing.

and the worst scene is when every one around the patient starts moving with a drawn face, gloomy expressions. even if the patient tries to put up a bold front and face the situation with utter courage the so called well wishers keep reminding him of his agonising state and forces him to become mentally weak by talking about his ill fate and bad luck.
they are the ones who by their expressions, attitude make the patient see his end approaching.
and this reminds me two famous dialouges of our movies
1. Jindagi lumbi nahi chodi honi chahiye
and
2. yeh mat socho ki jindagi mein kitne pal bache hai balki yeh socho ki har pal mein kitni jindagi hai(
dont think how much time you have left with rather think how you can live the leftover moments of your life)

Beggars can’t be choosers

2009-09-08T07:06:00.000-07:00

Some incidences during last few days

1. Although I don’t advocate giving alms to beggars and I generally don’t give unless the person asking for is very old or handicapped. Other day while travelling near a traffic signal a very cute little girl knocked at my car window and in her very sweet voice asked me for money. I had a one Rupee coin in my hand which I gave her. To my surprise she refused to take that saying “ kum se kum 2 rupees to do. Mein ek rupee nahi leti”

2. While travelling in a local train I came across again a small child crying and begging. Can anyone believe what she was begging for not money but A Chocolate? I felt every emotional by seeing her. I offered her money but she wanted only chocolate reason being ,” paise to meri maa le legi, mereko to chocolate he khani hai”

3. One of my friends has a similar experience. She was travelling in an auto rickshaw and at a traffic signal some eunuchs asked her for money which she refused to give. Seeing this they started abusing her which made her very scared and she took out a 2 Rs coin from her purse. She was stunned when they threw the money on her face saying ,” Humko bhikari samjha hai. Kum se kum 5 rupees de”

4. In another incidence the person refused to take 2 rupees saying , “ 2 rupees mein kya aata hai, kum se kum ek pav vade ka paisa ya ek cup chai ka paise to do”

5. Yesterday a young lady stopped me on the road and asked me to give her money to buy ration for herfamily. I told her, “You come to my house and clean my utensils. I will give you money, or if you want I can keep you on to clean my utensils regularly”. She just refused saying, “ paise dena ho to do, kaam nahi maanga hai”. i told her that I am giving her respectable job, and she will not have to beg. but she replied, " jab aaram se mil jaata hai to kaam kyun karne ka"

The beggars infact have become choosy in what they want and how much they want.

Moreover they are happy to get this easy money which many so called kind hearted philanthropists give thinking that they are doing some noble deed, some punya ka kaam and they will surely get a place in swarg( heaven )for their kind deeds.

Some so called social workers and their organizations take pride in distributing food items, blankets, money etc to these people without realizing that they are in fact making them dependent, lethargic who think that it is very easy to squeeze money out of kind hearted people by playing on their emotions.

It is a very common sight to find people asking for money to perform last rites of their relatives who is lying dead on the roadside (really??) and if you offer them some material goods they just refuse. They want only money.

All these incidences prove one thing that the famous saying THAT BEGGARS CAN NOT BE CHOOSERS is false. Under the present circumstances it doesn’t hold true these days. BEGGERS ARE CHOOSERS AND THEY TAKE ONLY WHAT THEY WANT.

Dilemmas of parents and children ????????????????

2009-09-06T06:44:00.000-07:00

I was watching a TV serial in which the stereotype scenes were being enacted.
Scene 1
Son wants to get married to a girl of his choice. Parents are against it.
Parents ,” Kya isiliye tereko itna bada kiya tha?,tujhse yeh umeed na thi.(. We didn’t raise you to expect such a behavior from you)
Scene 2
Son wants to go abroad for further studies / or live separately with his wife. Main thing is he is planning to set up his life away from his parents
This was enough to give all the meals in one stroke to my always starving mind
Lots of questions (as usual, I specialize in raising many doubts, confusing questions)

1. Do we, the parents, give birth to our children with this expectation that they will obey us all through their life, will listen to us?

2. Have we given birth to them to fulfill our unrealized dreams?

3. Do we want them to suppress their desires, dreams, and ambitions to be with us always?

4. Is it right on the part of the parents to demand that the child should marry according to their choice or is it right on the part of the child to ignore his parent’s wish and go ahead with his own feelings?

5. Does a relation which is only few months or few years old becomes so powerful that the child is ready to rebel against a relation which is more than 20 years old?

6. Is it right on the part of the father to expect his son to follow his (father’s well established profession? Did the father start his career with this aim that his offspring will take over from him or did he want to further his own career, ambitions and make a name for himself?

7. What are the duties and responsibilities of the children towards their parents? Although there are no set norms or rules for the children to follow but should they not think about their parents who are responsible for their very existence and who have sacrificed a lot to provide the best of comforts to the child? Should the children not see to it that their parents are properly looked after, loved, respected and taken care of the way the parents had done when the children were small?

8. Do the parents give birth to children and raise them with the expectation that the children will look after them in old age?

9. Don’t we , the parents, have children because we want to fulfill our parental instincts, because we want to shower our love and affection to our offspring, to provide the best of life to them, we want to give meaning to our life, to have something and someone to look forward to ( all selfish reasons on the part of the parents)? The children didn’t ask the parents for anything. They never said give birth to us? we do it because we want to do it.

10. And if it is so, then why do parents want children to sacrifice their life for parents. Are they asking for repayment of the sacrifices they made in bringing up their children?

11. But is it wrong on parent’s part to expect some consideration from children? Should the children not feel thankful to their parents for what they have become in life? Should they not feel any moral duty or obligation towards the parents?

12. When parents don't want to let go their independence, their authority to make decisions how can they not expect the same feelings from their children?

These are some of the doubts which may be there in the minds of both the sides

It is possible that so many people find my questions funny, irrelevant

but these are the harsh realities of life which everyone has to face and I suppose both the sides have to make some compromises, adjustments so that each emerges out satisfied without making undue demands on anyone or ignoring other.

I am waiting for some answers to my musings. hopefully someone will surely clear my doubts and put my mind to rest.

DESTINY - - - YES OR NO ?????????

2009-08-31T22:37:00.000-07:00

I often wonder from where did the God get his super efficient, 24x7 working ,diligent, uncorrupt administrative staff ( definitely not from India )?

And also his computers must be having unbelievable configuration otherwise how it would be possible for him to have information about the whole universe of the past, present and also the future in his data base

The moment a life takes birth ,its each and every moment is monitored by him as he is the one who has got the ropes of each life in his hand. Everything that happens is as per his desire, his guidance and under his supervision.

I am sure even before the commencement of new life, God would be feeding all the success, failures, mood swings, personality traits, happenings, mis- happenings of the new life in his computers that is why we always say “it was destined” because everything is as per his wish and under his directions.

.I wonder how he manages to plan the whole cycle of the new life in such a meticulous manner. There is no scope for any breakdown or failures in his system.

There are many who don’t believe in destiny. They say there is nothing as destiny. every thing is in our own hand and they believe that by hard work we can change our destiny

But is it not possible that the changing of destiny was also predecided by the God? Or hard work done by us is also predetermined by him. Because he wants us to toil the soil, he wants some people to work day in day out and so they do it.

Is it not possible because we are destined to succeed that is why we work hard and aim towards success?
Whereas ,for some he has other plans that is why they are not hardworking or particular about certain things in the life.

Just for an example a student flunks in the exams. And he is condemned for his failure because of not studying. Is it possible that because it was destined that he will fail that is why he didn’t study?
Is it not possible that when God wants something to happen then he only manipulates the circumstances in such a way that everything becomes conducive for the happening of that particular event and vice versa?

If two persons are destined to meet, then the situations will automatically take twists and turns to see that the two persons unite. otherwise come what may they will not cross ways.

I am a strong believer of destiny and I may be wrong in my thinking. There will be many who will not subscribe to my thinking and they will have their own point of view. I am open to any reasoning and also have no reservations to change by way of thinking provided the arguments against destiny are strong enough and convincing.

And if I do change my thinking then I would say it was destined that I will be changing my views. ;-)

I AM OK, YOU ARE OK BUT WE ARE NOT OK

2009-08-28T23:19:00.000-07:00

Few days back I read a novel where the husband and wife separates after 2-3 years of marriage. So before leaving they divide the things bought by them. As the husband had paid for the bed and mattress minus the pillows, the TV, the music system minus the high power speakers he took all of them whereas the wife was left with the pillows, speakers and TV trolley as she had paid for it

Then the other day I was talking to a young working couple. They described their house purchases to me. “Aunty I bought this and this and aunty other things he bought”.
Surprised at the way they were describing their shopping I asked them what did they mean by I bought or he bought.
Prompt came the reply, “for half the things I paid and rest he paid. Look aunty, suppose things don’t work out between us in future and we decide to separate then we don’t want to fight over petty issues over physical possession. That is why everything is divided equally between us. Household expenditure, shopping, outings etc etc

I was shocked here was a newly married couple just on the verge of starting their new life and they were already planning for separation. What happened to lifelong commitments, marriage vows, faith and confidence in each other? Have these values become thing of past or only to be read in the books?

No doubt what they were thinking was very practical and realistic. After all both of them are financially independent, educated, progressive young people belonging to this modern era and they have equal rights over the way they spend their money and if things really go out of hand and they are not able to live together then no one should face financial loss or be in a vulnerable position BUT

Aren’t they starting their life on shaky grounds, on doubts, with preset apprehensions about the permanency of the relation,? Any thing started with negativism will surely bring about more negativity in the relation. They are already preparing themselves for separation.

That means no thought is given by them on concepts like understanding, endurance, adjustments. It sounds more like a contract to me. If things work out we will remain together else TATA BYE BYE
A little argument, a little difference of opinion and they just go their own ways.

What happened to feeling of US. It is always you and me.

Isn’t marriage supposed to be union of two persons, two families from two different cultural values, backgrounds who try to come together as one being?

By giving too much emphasis to one’s own individuality, independence they are deviating from the basic foundation of married life which rests on trust, belongingness, feeling of togetherness, feeling of being WE.

I agree that by maintaining separate financial accounts, each one is free to spend as one wish and don’t have to account to other person for the expenses. Especially in Indian society many a times when the girl wants to do something for her family, there are objections from the boy or his family. This way she can support her family or gift them without facing the wrath of the inlaws.

The young couples practice these thoughts not only in financial matters but also at each step of their married life. My relatives your relatives, my dreams your dreams, my life your life and so forth. Till the realization of being as one unit, as being We or Us sinks in them the marriage will remain on rocky grounds.

I remember there was a dialogue in old hindi movie Kora Kaagaz, where after a long separation due to lots of misunderstandings when the couple meet suddenly , the wife asked, “was it was only my mistake “ and the husband replied, “ No, some of it was yours, some of it was mine and some of it was ours”

I am neither running a moral brigade nor am I in a position to pass value judgement on any body’s behavior ( after all we live in a democratic society) and every one has a right to lead his life as he wants.

But these were some of my doubts may be from a mother’s point of view or may be from a different generation (How I hate to be called as old fashioned or from different generation) but I just can’t help it. I am unable to adhere to these values, philosophy and thinking of individualism.

I strongly advocate that one should maintain one’s individuality, one’s privacy but not to such an extent as to jeopardize the institution of marriage whose basis is togetherness.

MOTHER CHILD AND GOD

2009-08-27T10:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday while travelling a local train I happen to overhear a conversation between a small child and her mother. (Yes, I know eavesdropping is bad and one should not do it but at times it is very stimulating and very informative and there are times when you just cannot avoid listening to what others are talking)

I was so much impressed by the questions asked by the young one and the way the mother was struggling to satisfy the curiosity of the child. There were times when I found the answers of the mother to be very weak and I could feel it in her tone but she was trying her best.

This is how the conversation took place. A is the daughter and B is the mother ( for my convenience)

A: Momma God is every where
B : Yes, beta he is omnipresent, found in each and every thing on this earth, living, non living, plants, animals
A: so mummy will you agree to that he is the creator,
B: Yes my child
A: then please tell me why do we pray to him?
B: GOD is that support system which gives us strength, hope, encouragement and confidence to face any obstacles in the life.
A: when he is the giver, he is the caretaker, then why do we ask him for things? He should know what we require?
B : true , but he has to take care of the whole universe, he is extremely busy. So there are chances that he may overlook us, or forget about us so we need to remind him
A: but when he is the supreme power who knows each and every thing that happens on the earth, everything that happens is as per his desires. Then why should we go on asking him to take care of us?
B: Look child I will give you an example, for a mother her child is the most precious thing in the world and her life revolves around her, but even then there are times when due to her work she may forget to feed the young child, then the child has to remind her to feed her by crying and he goes on crying till she gives him milk.
Similarly God also needs reminders now and again.
A: OK mom, you gave birth to me, you take care of me, I am your most precious possession and you don’t want to see me ever in pain or suffering. Right ? Now that God is the creator, he is responsible for the whole world then why does he give us pain, why did he make my friend cry when she lost her mother?
B: he gives us pain so that we should value the things which give us happiness; we should not take everything including him for granted. Pain and happiness both are integral part of life. Without one we cannot enjoy and feel the importance of other. And one should always remember that after night comes the day and vice versa. Similarly if he give us pain he will surely give us happiness.
A: that means if we are happy then we are surely to get hurt too.
The mother was speechless for a second
B : this is circle of life, nothing is permanent. This is why I always tell you to value all the comforts, all the facilities you have. You never know one day you may not have all of them.
A : But mumma, if God wants to take all this back then why give in first place. Why make us get used to a happy life and full of comforts and then let us suffer
(I was admiring the endurance of the mother who was patiently trying to answer every question of the child)
A: OK mummy tell me one more thing, why do you ,many times tell to God that if some wish of yours gets full filled , you will offer a coconut or some sweets to God, Do you offer him bribe or do you pay him for the wishes he grants you. That means even God is corrupt as he doesn’t fulfill your desires till you promise to give something in return. ( very smart question. hats off to the child for asking such a question)
B: ( trying very hard to answer and maintain her cool) this is our way of saying thanx to God for what ever he does for us.
A: A mere thank you will not suffice? And more over whatever we offer to God, it doesn’t reach him but either the pujari, or someone else takes it. Then why do we promise God to give something in return. We all are his children then he should do our work without expecting anything in return.
( the mother was visibly in a tight spot and was getting irritated by now)
A: ok tell me God is one, then why do we have so many Gods.
B: all the Gods are different names or faces of the same God.
A: if it is so, then why do we pray to different Gods on different days? Monday we go to Shiv temple, Tuesday we go to Ganpati, Thursday to Sai Baba, Friday to Mata Rani, Saturday to Hanumanji.
A : And Momma one more thing, if we all his children then why some are poor and some are rich, some are good looking and some are not so good looking? U always say that for a parent all the children are equal and no parent would ever differentiate between children then why does he do so?
My station had come so I had to get down. But I wonder how many more questions the child had in her store and how the mother was managing?
But this entire conversation did make me also think that all the questions asked by the child were relevant and were neither randomly asked nor thought about on the spur of the moment but she must have pondered over them over a period of time .
and I admired the perseverance of the motehr in quenching the thirst (clarification of her innumbearble doubts) of her child

ARE WE AS PARENTS NOT RESPONSBILE?

2009-08-19T05:55:00.000-07:00

I was reading a novel in which one of the woman characters starts turning her 2 year old child against her husband and her family who had caused her business loss. So by the time the child is 8 years he is full of venom for everybody and he kills his father and goes out to take revenge from his relatives
Who was responsible for it? The mother, no doubt.

Parents ,are the ones who socialize, educate and nurture the children. How they will mould their gullible minds will determine what sort of adults they will turn out to be?

Very often husbands and wives in their fit of temper pass a comment in front of their children, “why did I marry?” (Very common) but ,they fail to realize the impact of such words on the impressionable minds of the children and they grow up believing that marriage is indeed something which causes unhappiness.

I was in for a shock when few days back in answer to one of my comments on male ego, my daughter said , Mummy please spare me your comments on male ego. This is your thinking, don’t press your views on me” I was stunned. I wondered if I was indeed poisoning her against men especially when she is on the threshold of marriage.

Many a bloggers who feel strongly about the pathetic conditions of women, their victimization by the hands of men, sexual discrimination, harassment etc write bold blogs on the same issue (even I express my views on such issues).

Sometimes I feel that although our intention is to highlight the status of women in our society, we want to talk about their rights but unconsciously are we not encouraging the younger generation to harbor wrong notions against the opposite sex.

Are we not inculcating a sense of fear amongst girls regarding marriage, regarding men in general?

I know we are trying to prepare them for the facts of life, we are showing them that life is not a bed of roses, we are preparing them to fights against injustice, raise their voice against inhuman attitudes of certain sects of our society.

But are we not scaring them?
I know all enlightened people are raising their voices against the atrocities being committed on women and the broad minded, pragmatic thinking young generation are intelligent enough not to generalize but then there are remote chances that some of them involuntarily start breeding hatred towards members of opposite sex.

There are tons and tons of jokes, sms against women as wives, as girlfriends which make fun of them, which show them as sex objects, or as persons with no brains, or the ones who always harass their husbands.

Is it not possible that when young boys read them, enjoy them and discuss it amongst their friends they are indirectly getting conditioned to regard woman in that light only. Won’t they enter into matrimony with these preconceived ideas about wives? And wont it affect their relations with their life partners?

Right from birth we start discriminating between sexes. Kitchen sets, sewing kits, dolls for girls, cars, mechanos, etc for boys

We have preset rules for girls and boys, different household duties for them.

Are we as adults not conditioning the children to fall into stereotyped roles?

We, as parents and adults differentiate between our sons and daughters in our own houses and then we are the ones who talk about gender inequalities in outside world.

It is up to us the parents especially the mothers to train the children right from childhood to respect the members of opposite sex, it is up to us to guide them in the right direction and path. http://anjugandhi.blogspot.com/2009/06/all-men-get-prepared.html)

How we behave with our spouse, what sort of discussions we have amongst ourselves, what sort of values we will imbibe in their pliable minds will shape up their future and their adult life?

Moreover to an extent our religious scriptures, our old traditions, our TV serials and our movies all are responsible for this loathsome and irrational thinking of men and their attitude towards women.

And of course we adults as guides, as role models at times unintentionally misdirect our children be it sons or daughters in wrong directions.

i am all in favour of fighting against injustice towards any one , and I strongly condemn the atrocities and violence caused to women but my only apprhension is all this should not have any negative influnece on younger generation. rather they should think objectively and look at the things in a rational manner and follow what is good for them and for others also and we should try to tell the young ones that we are raising our voice against some of the malpractices of the society and they should not adopt those in their lives but take lessons from them

AWAKENING

who should die first the wife or the husband?

IF INSULTING IS MADE PUNISHABLE

Is it 7 khoon maaf or is it Million Khoon maaf ?

Why this discrimination with our own people?

child sexual abuse --- can we do any thing about it?

No age bar on having NON PENETRATIVE SEX

men sex and lust

parents vs children — is there a way out?

AN EXCLUSIVE GOD NEEDED FOR WOMEN

better to convert to Jainism ? :-) :-)

why should a parent prove his love to the child?

This is our Government

God- Please help me

Why ban only two serials—ban most of the hindi serials on TV

Why ban only two serials—ban most of the hindi serials on TVread about how Hindi serials are corrupting every one's mindhttp://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/11/19/why-ban-only-two-serials%E2%80%94ban-most-of-the-hindi-serials-on-tv/

MAA KA LAADLA / JORU KA GULAM –who is he actually?

one more dilemma of life

Won't God listen to us if we pray to him silently?

Height of selfishness

we are free indeed !!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

who says we are poor??/

Where should the strong one go to cry?

Mera Bharat Mahan

Let us change each other

We women are so funny and shrewd  but the men are no less 

A mockery called social work

my latest passion

Change of heart

Eat to live or eat to die

Marriage – realisation of so many dreams!!!!!!!

To watch or not to watch?

IT IS THE RELATION THAT MATTERS NOT THE INDIVIDUAL

father dear father

Over pampered children make egoistic parents/partners????????

Is this justice

A husband like Ram????????

If this not gender discrimination ?

This Happens only in India?

When is the right time?

think before advice

A SALUTE TO THOSE WHO MADE ME —– THE MOTHER

YES—- I AM A HYPOCRITE

IS IT BEING RELIGIOUS???????????

Expectations – the killer of relationship

Social networking sites ——–think twice before posting personal information

Religion — a conflicting issue

Should parents draw a propriety line when dealing with grown up children?.

I am 100 today

God Please solve this dilemma

DREAMS NEVER DIE

What will people say? LOG KYA KAHENGE?

Being a housewife and called so – something to be ashamed of???

daughters not safe with fathers?

women I am proud of you !!!!!

OK TO KICK SON'S WIFE?

Will following some rituals guarantee a happy married life?

ONE CHILD SYNDROME

which is her house???????????

LOVE VS ARRANG3ED MARRIGE

WAKE UP GIRLS—- AT LEAST ON THIS WOMEN’ DAY

musings of a married girl

confusions of young minds

be in other man’s shoe to feel the pain

THE BLAME GAME we often play

women keep away

suicides in students— who is responsible?

why is this rape victim denied justice???

IS IT STREE DHAN????

Put your loved one’s mind at rest—adopt ICE

Is Academic degree the only needed educations?

who is more lucky-- parens with one child or parents with more than one child

A TOUGH CHOICE

I LUST AFTER--------------

GHAR JAWAI A TAG TO BE ASHAMED OF????

requesting you to continue your visit on my new URL

Tattoos– symbol of Power/ fashion ?

MEN V/S WOMEN

Security/medical checks at International Airport —– a farce

KURBAAN--- ANTI MUSLIMS???

Why ban only two serials—ban most of the hindi serials on TV
read about how Hindi serials are corrupting every one's mind
http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/11/19/why-ban-only-two-serials%E2%80%94ban-most-of-the-hindi-serials-on-tv/