who should die first the wife or the husband?

Disclaimer I have no intention to hurt any one’s feelings or sentiments

While talking to one old widower and another old widow, the idea of this post came

Most of the ladies love and pamper their husbands to no limits, they take care of him (husband),look after his medicines, keep an eye on his movements, monitor his intake of foods, help him select his clothes etc etc. control his cholesterol, sugar , force him to go for walks . In general the wife makes the husband totally dependent on her.

They will rush home after any outing – “he must have come home, I have to give him his tea “

The wife always says “I want to die before my husband, Suhagan marna chahti hu”.

Has she ever thought that if she dies before the husband who will take care of him once she goes? She has made him so much dependent on her, rather made him handicapped to the extent that he will not take his medicine on his own.

Doesn’t she realize that once she dies the husband will be left alone with no one to take care of him, give him medicines?

How can the same woman who can’t bear the thought of leaving her husband alone for a single day think about leaving him for a lonely life without her?

Actually the best solution to save the old couples from depression because of death of the partner, the couple should die together so that no one suffers the loneliness, the feeling of left alone, the isolation and the depression

IF INSULTING IS MADE PUNISHABLE

IF INSUTLTING IS MADE PUNISHABLE

Just imagine what would happen if insulting was made a crime let me list all those who will be behind the bars or who will be punished

1. All the husbands for insulting their wives at every given chance.

2. Rest of the men for insulting women by abusing them (verbally as well as physically).

3. All those political leaders who insult the faith reposed on them by public.

4. All those friends who insult friendship by cheating on them.

5. All those children who insult their parents.

6. All those parents who insults their children by their sarcastic comments or expect much more from their children than they are capable of doing.

7. All those citizens who insult our legal system by violating the laws.

8. All those people who insult our religious values by talking against any particular religion or misusing the religious places.

9. All those women who insult women hood by indulging in acts which are demeaning to all the women

10. All those beggars who insult the emotions of philanthropists by presenting a false sob story and taking alms from them.

11. ------

12. -----

13. ------

The list is unending

If all these people are punished, our judiciary and legal system will have a tough time by putting them behind the bars

BUT the question is who will punish the insulters?

The law makers, the reformers, the judiciary themselves insult the legal system, rules and regulations.

So if there is no one to impart punishment what is the alternative?

Go on getting insulted and go on insulting others ????????????????

Is it 7 khoon maaf or is it Million Khoon maaf ?

Is it 7 khoon maaf or is it Million Khoon maaf ?

I don’t think so

It is millions of khoon maaf to the the whole team of this nonsensical movie

I am no film critic so don’t want to go into the technalities of the movie

But one thing is sure

The whole team of this movie has gone away with millions of khoon maaf

Khoon of time of millions of people ( 2 and half hour of movie, time spent in planning to see the movie, book the tickets, actually going to the theaters , and then coming back and of course pulling one’s hair)

Khoon of money spent on watching this movie in theaters (tickets, buying those popcorns and colas plus transportation)

Khoon of the relations between the people who went to watch the movie together (each one must have cursed the other for taking him along for this movie)

Khoon of our expectations over the movie and the desire to watch ts one and only one passable song.( darling ghar mein baith kar time pass karo)

Why this discrimination with our own people?

Why this discrimination with our own people?

Khabhi Khabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai --- post No. 1 ( I am going to pen down my many thoughts which keep dancing in my brain)

I am not very politically oriented person and I have nothing against any person of any nationality or country.

But this thought just occurred to me

I was warned against keeping servants from Bihar or UP.

The common advice given by people is that as the servants come from very poor and backward areas, they are bound to resort to stealing. And this generalization has come from some stray cases of servants getting caught or indulging in petty thefts (at times big ones also)

I am very thankful to such concerned friends and well wishers

But then just one thought came

If we are asked to exercise extra caution against the people from our country then why don’t we use this discretion when dealing with people from other countries?

We all know that they are responsible for most of the terrorist attacks and activities in India, even then we don’t mind inviting them for our TV shows, or for our games or for using their voice in our movies?

For once I ditto the thoughts of Shiv Sena

We invite their artists to our country, give them award, pay them handsomely to appear in our reality shows, act in our movies, and sing for our artists.

Granted we are a generous lot of citizens and we Indians don’t carry grudges against any one, we are very forgiving, we are very big hearted , for us every one is equal

But then don’t we expect the same reciprocation from them. How many artist from our country have to gone to neighbouring country to take part in their shows or sing in their movies.

EK HAATH LE EK HAATH DE

Doesn’t this philosophy hold good for us?

Are we in so much awe with their artists that we allow them to supersede our own artists and willingly give them what can easily be given to our own people?

Or are we so thick skinned that the inhuman acts of those people doesn’t affect us? Or are we immune to the terrorist acts of those people.

I am surprised at the benevolence of so many Indians that they are ready to let go the barbaric acts of them .

If we really believe in the ideals of Gandhiji “ put forward your second cheek if someone slaps on u the other one” then why doesn’t this hold good when dealing with our fellow citizen

child sexual abuse --- can we do any thing about it?

I am too stunned to react to the news that appeared in a daily that a 8 -year-old girl from a slum in Mumbai repeatedly complained last month that her teacher was “touching and fondling her private parts,”. When the girl’s parents complained, the principal called them “regressive” and blamed them for damaging the school’s reputation. The girl now stays at home to help cook and clean, her school bag lying in a locked cupboard, her scholastic career over

Daily there are cases of sexual abuse of children all over India. Most of them go unreported and people are unaware of it but child abuse is there in all sections of society. Even the higher stratum of society which is considered to be the educated and most progressive section of the society is actively involved in it.

The silence from the victim and her/his family encourages the abuser to feel that he is safe to sexually abuse.

The worst part is most of the children are not aware that they are being abused and the children are growing up not knowing their rights have been violated. Most of the victims bury the abuse as a painful and shameful memory never to be told to anyone.

Children are expected to respect and obey authority figures such as parents, teachers, guidance counselors and principals and not question their actions and due to their innocence and blind faith in the elders that they don’t realize that they are being sexually abused and by the time they realize the shame and the fear makes them suffer the torture in silence.

I really shudder to think of the psychological consequences and the scars left by such perverted acts of the elders.

One more thing if these perverted elders want to satisfy their sexual urges why do they have to spoil the life of such innocent buds, why can’t they find partners of their own age?

Following are some of the links of news items appeared in news papers regarding sexual abuse of children in the last few days

MUMBAI: A 35-year-old man from Chembur was arrested for raping and sodomising a 10-month-old infant. The accused, Ramkisan Surajmal Harijan, a resident of Mankhurd-Ghatkopar Link Road, took the baby away on Tuesday night on the pretext of babysitting her after which he raped her.

Child abuse cases in city on the rise - The Times of India http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/mumbai/Child-abuse-cases-in-city-on-the-rise/articleshow/1370246.cms#ixzz19KkS3Cyf

NEW DELHI: The National Commission for Protection of Child Rights has received 75 cases of child abuse, including cases of corporal punishment upto October 31, with the highest number being reported from the national capital and Uttar Pradesh.
75 cases of child abuse reported this year - The Times of India http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/75-cases-of-child-abuse-reported-this-year/articleshow/6969299.cms#ixzz19KlBJhl6

http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Scripting/ArticleWin.asp?From=Archive&Source=Page&Skin=TOINEW&BaseHref=TOIM/2010/04/07&PageLabel=3&EntityId=Ar00308&ViewMode=HTML&GZ=T )

http://news.rediff.com/slide-show/2010/oct/27/slide-show-1-50-pc-indian-kids-face-sexual-abuse-in-schools.htm

http://findarticles.com/p/news-articles/times-of-india-the/mi_8012/is_20060921/sexual-abuse-children-rampant-society/ai_n39425306/

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/More-than-50-Indian-kids-face-sexual-abuse/articleshow/6812170.cms

CAN'T WE DO ANY THING ABOUT IT?

what can we as the concerned population of our country do to save these children?

No age bar on having NON PENETRATIVE SEX

This is neither my idea nor these are my words but this is the news on the front page of Times of India

“ BILL SEEKS TO ALLOW 12 YEAR OLDS TO HAVE NON PENETRATIVE SEX

Don’t believe me then

http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Scripting/ArticleWin.asp?From=Archive&Source=Page&Skin=TOINEW&BaseHref=TOIM/2011/02/01&PageLabel=1&EntityId=Ar00106&ViewMode=HTML&GZ=T

That means 12 year olds can indulge in sexual acts (except for the penetration) with children of their age.

Even in advanced countries like USA and UK the official age for having consent sex is 16 -18 then how come a country like ours can encourage the not so developed (psychologically, emotionally, and physically ) children to have sex?

Is it the sign of progression/growth/advancement?

Or is it the sign of further deterioration of our moral ethics?

Will this bill not encourage young ones to indulge in immoral acts?

Are we not corrupting the young innocent minds by legally permitting them to indulge in all the foreplay and the associated acts?

According to the said bill

Any consensual non penetrative sexual ac is not an offence when engaged in between two children who are both over 12 years.

As far as my understanding goes in future if the bill is passed then for the children till the actual penetration is there no other sexual act will be punishable.

That means they can go to any extent and cross any limit to have physical relation with children of their age or within 2 years of their age

I wonder what was Ms. Aparna Bhat thinking when she along with others drafted this bill?

According to her this bill is to decriminalize sexual exploration by children.

So if the said bill sent by the ministry of women and child development to all the states is approved and passed that means we can say bye bye to our moral values and coolly watch our young ones to enjoy sexual acts?

men sex and lust

I am too stunned to comment on the news that appeared in today’s newspaper

“A 2 YEAR OLD GIRL WAS RAPED BY AN ADULT MALE”

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2011/01/24/men-sex-and-lust/

parents vs children — is there a way out?

This is neither a pro parents nor anti children post but the issue raised has been in existence since generations. Like the famous war between mother in law and the daughter in law, the differences between the parents and children are there to stay.

Came to know about a real life Baagban/Avataar story

This is not a stray example of life of a senior citizen but these sorts of examples have become part and parcel of our life.

In This particular case ( many senior citizens will identify with this)— retired father in law, sick mother in law , daughter in laws wants in laws to live separately, sons have already got all the property transferred in their name, and parents complaint “ our children are very rude to us, don’t talk to us, treat us useless liability”

—- so what should the parents do?

Harsh realities like this should be taken as lesson for every one. be it the old parents or the young parents, the present day young generation who are the culprits and also the children of the present day young generation.

I am not casting value judgment on anyone’s behaviour or attitude but just sharing some of my doubts and confusions which are baffling me:

1. Do the parents give birth to children because they want old age security or whether they want to satisfy their maternal/paternal instincts? ( This reminds me of one dialogue from a movie in which the son says” I didn’t ask you to give me birth, you wanted to satisfy your sexual as well as parental desires, why expect something in return from me, I didn’t ask you to give me a better future, and sacrifice your life. this was your decision, why expect any thing in return from me?”
2. Should the parents expect any thing from the children? Do they love and slog to give a better future to their children with the expectation that the children will repay them in their old age? Do they treat their children as investment which will reap returns in their old age?
3. Parents go to any extreme to take care of children, they sacrifice their comforts, sleep, their life, even their young age to give a better future to children and what do they get in return – the 3 I’s – insults, isolation, and insecurities?(Link)
4. The children these days are very quick in making their parents aware of their responsibilities but what about the duties of the children? Are the children so selfish that they don’t realize the sacrifices made by the parents for them, or their responsibility towards the ones who gave them a comfortable future? Have the breed of children become selfish and materialistic.
5. Won’t the present day children become tomorrow’s old parents? Won’t their children learn from their behaviour?
6. Should the parents become selfish and think about their life only?
7. Why should the parent save money for the future if it doesn’t give them comfort in their later life?
8. Won’t it be better if the parents don’t give away their life savings to the children in sudden fit of love for them? Rather they should keep everything with them (be it cash/property/ bank deposits/ shares etc) till their end , such arrangements should be made that in event of death of one of the parent the survival still retains the control over the finances till his/her end thus one of the partner is not left at the mercy of any one and continues maintaining his/her financial independence.
9. Will it create a more harmonious relation between the parents and children if they live separately thus no interference from any quarter in each other’s life? Each to his own?
10. Should the senior citizen shift to localities where they have like minded and same age people as their companions ( I don’t mean old age home but a society where the same age people are there to give each other company and take care of each other)(link)
11. the elderly group should keep themselves occupied in some constructive work so as to maintain their dignity, self esteem and self respect

Can any one suggest any way out of this conflict ?

Can something be done to maintain the love, affection and caring between the parents and children/

Is there a way by which dignity, respect, independence of both the parties is maintained?

AN EXCLUSIVE GOD NEEDED FOR WOMEN

The idea for this came from DG’s post.

We all know that we have different Gods for different needs/occasions

We have Goddess Laxmi for wealth

We have Goddess Saraswati for education

We have Lord Shiva for marriage of girls

We have Ganpati as Vighanharta

We have Indra for rains

So on and so forth

Then we have some exclusive Gods and temples for Men – only men can worship them, or go to their temple or touch them like Shani dev, Hanumanji, or Sabrimala in South.

But to my knowledge we don’t have a God exclusively for women – a God to whom a woman in distress can turn to. A God ,who will cater only to women.

A God in whose temple men will be treated as trespassers and who will be prosecuted if try to enter the temple.

A god who will listen to the problems of women only ,without any prejudice.

A God ,who will come to the rescue of women who are either the victim of exploitation by men or women who are subjected to humiliation and insults by the members of their own sex—the MILS and SILS or the other women.

A God who will not get polluted or whose temple will not become dirty by the entry of women who are in their monthly cycle.

Talking of discrimination

Women are not allowed to touch some of the men Gods like Shanidev or Hanumanji or Manibhadraji or Kshetrapalji but there is no restriction on men to touch the She Gods

Rather all the Pujaris of all the temples be it of a He God or a She God are men.

These men Pujari do the Puja, change the clothes of the She Gods etc.

There is no restriction on them.

I wonder when it comes to matter of God why should there be any discrimination

It is the God who has made woman, it is he who is responsible for the monthly cycles of women ( without these cycles the survival of human race will not be possible) then how come women during this period are considered untouchables?

I think the women during this particular period should be treated with dignity, respect rather than some member of outcaste group. Talking of the monthly cycles in some communities the women during these 4 days are made to sleep on floor, not enter the kitchen, not touch any one.

The height of such humiliation was when the marriage of a girl was postponed just before her PHERAS , The BAARAT had come to her door, all relatives from both the sides were there. Suddenly the girl got her periods. And guess what—it was announced to the whole group present there that due to this reason the marriage will take place after 4 days as she had become impure and could not attend any religious function. So the girl’s side had to take care of the whole baarat for 4 days and the whole world came to know about the whole story. just imagine what humiliation that girl must have felt

Is suppose there was a separate God for Women the girl could have gone to her/his temple and got married there.

Mr GOD are you listening to me?

Please give some time to the mother of the human race and make special provision for her

(I hope all the other Gods who are only for men do not get angry with me . I apologize to all of them . This post is not written to annoy or criticize the ways of GOD but to request him to give some special consideration to women also.)

better to convert to Jainism ? :-) :-)

http://http//anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/12/21/better-to-convert-to-jainism/

with the rising prices onion going to Rs 80/- per Kg and garlic selling at Rs 400/- per Kg it is better to convert into Jainism or take a vow not to eat these two priced items .
atleast by taking a vow we are surely to become close to God ( some people believe so) and ofcourse we are going to save and add to our monthly budget
The day is not very far when people who will be fortunate enough to afford these two items will surely flaunt them with pride in see through bags and the less privilaged lot will oogle at these elite group with envy.

why should a parent prove his love to the child?

is there any need for a parent to reaffirm his love to his children?
http// anjugandhi.wordpress.com

This is our Government

A sattire on our Government
a must read for every one
http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/12/09/this-is-our-government/

God- Please help me

is it ok to pray to different GODS at the same time or one should stick to one God only? does it show lack of faith in any one particular God?

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/12/09/god-please-help-me/

Why ban only two serials—ban most of the hindi serials on TV

Why ban only two serials—ban most of the hindi serials on TV
read about how Hindi serials are corrupting every one's mind
http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/11/19/why-ban-only-two-serials%E2%80%94ban-most-of-the-hindi-serials-on-tv/

MAA KA LAADLA / JORU KA GULAM –who is he actually?

read about the plight of the poor man who is the victim of the proprietorship battle between the mother and the wife

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/11/18/maa-ka-laadla-joru-ka-gulam-who-is-he-actually/

one more dilemma of life

The whole life style can change in just few minutes. My motto of life from LIVE TO EAT has changed into EAT TO LIVE

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/10/13/one-more-dilemma-of-life/

Won't God listen to us if we pray to him silently?

I just fail to understand if God is every where then what is the need to pray at top of voice. He can hear it even if we pray silently.

Or is it the more we shout, happier he will be and will shower more blessings on us.

We are funny people, it is Ganpati time now, and then it will be Navratri time, then the time for Mata ka Jagrata. or any other Puja in the temple. use of loudspeakers has become a must to show our dedication to God.

Cannot we pray to God without causing noise pollution and disturbing others?

People who want to pray or indulge in Bhakti why cannot they do silently, why do they have to make such a big hue and cry about it and be such show offs.

Will God not listen to our prayers if we pray with low volumes?

The only good thing that came out of all this noise and show off of faith is that the staff of the office got to leave early as it has become impossible to work so it is party time for the staff .

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/09/18/wont-god-listen-to-us-if-we-pray-to-him-silently/

Height of selfishness

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/08/31/height-of-selfishness/

BIG B disturbed over the metro as it will be an intrusion to his privacy.

The second phase of Metro may pass near his bungalow so it may disturb his privacy

Last year it was the nightingale of India who had raised her voice against the flyover which was to pass near her flat

These big shots never raised their voices against other fly overs or the metro on different routes. They must not have given it a thought also that the new flyovers or rail lines can affect the privacy of other citizens also.

Why should they bother after all it doesn’t concern them.

I am sure if someone had raised his voice against such work these celebrities would have been the first ones to criticize those citizens in the name of development and their being selfish and putting self over the welfare of Lakhs.

we are free indeed !!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

On this Independence day, I take this opportunity to thank all our leaders, politicians, all the officials and each and every citizen of my country for freeing me from the tight embrace of moral and spiritual values of honesty, integrity, truthfulness , patriotism and loyalty. please read more on

http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/08/14/we-are-free-indeed/

who says we are poor??/

17.8 million tones of food grain, enough to feed 200 million people for
a year, is being wasted because of shortage of storage facilities.
Flower pots worth 50 Lakhs purchased to beautify Delhi .
80,000 crore being spent unaccounted over the Commonwealth Games.
1000 Kg of gold used to make the dome of a temple.
100 Kg gold offered at Hindu Temple
Cost of wedding dress of a celebrity just Rs five Lakhs.
Twenty five crores spent on three days function of a wedding

and we are poor?????????