Tuesday, October 27, 2009

what is love?


do visit my new post at



Sunday, October 25, 2009


Hi every body

as i have moved to wordpress

please go through my following post at the url given and do leave your reflections


Wednesday, October 21, 2009

my first post from boston


Friday, October 16, 2009

happy diwali to all


Thursday, October 8, 2009



Monday, October 5, 2009



Saturday, October 3, 2009

change of address----- keep visiting

Hi friends

please add this list to your following list.
as i can not survive without your followships.

please keep visiting there and don't forget to leave your imprints behind. I value your comments as they are the motivating force behind my being in this world of blogging.

i am trying to import every thing from this site to the other site.

Friday, October 2, 2009


“Husband files a case against his wife on the grounds of mental torture and cruelty because she called him Idiot, cheater, duffer “. Although the court rejected his application as they observed that mere calling one’s husband an Idiot or a duffer doesn’t qualify for legal action” ( news in the prominent newspaper last week)

The reason given by the wife for her calling names to her husband --- he had got married under false pretexts. He has given false information about himself that he was a first class Chartered Accountant whereas in reality he was merely a lower grade clerk

I am surprised at the audacity of the man who appealed to the competent authorities just because it was a blow to his male ego to be called names by his wife

I wonder why he didn’t realize that he had infact insulted the woman by giving wrong information about himself, his education, his career and his income.

How could he spoil the life of an innocent person like this? What about the dreams of the woman which must have been shattered by this act of cheating by the husband?

Didn’t he degrade the woman by marrying her under false pretexts?

And what about the millions of men, who humiliate, insults, manhandle tortures both physically and mentally and abuse their wives at each step. How many of such victimized women show enough courage to go and complaint about their husbands.

Leave aside going to court; most of the women don't even let their family know about the continuous hurling of abuses to them.

How much mental trauma the false representation of husband must have caused the wife to call her husband a cheater or an idiot, because in our society most of the women will go on suffering than to call their husbands any name.

For a man to use derogatory words like an idiot or a duffer or good for nothing creature, useless, brainless or other thousands of demeaning and at times words of unprintable nature for his wife is just casual style, most of the men think that it is their prerogative to abuse their wives as it proves their superiority over the women.

I overheard someone saying,” are apni biwi ko kuch bhi bol sakte hai, she also knows I don’t mean it actually but then jab gussa aata hai to biwi ko bol deta hu, aakhir vo apni hai”

I feel like saying VA VA VA, just because she is your own wife you can abuse her.

Moreover I think, words like idiot or duffer have become a part of our life. We use it so often, many times not meaning them exactly or not with the intention to hurt someone but they are used more as slangs than as an abuse.

So why raise such a hue and cry when a woman uses these words against her husband, although I am sure very few of Indian wives will be using such harmless words for their husbands because Indian wives sill respects their husbands, they still put husbands in high esteem,

I don’t think that the woman did anything wrong in calling her husband an idiot even if she meant it and for once I applaud the decision given by the court.

Rather I would have appreciated if she had used even more strong words against the husband, afterall he had misrepresented to the woman about himself. He had disgraced her in front of her friends and relatives. He was the one responsible for breaking the dreams of her.

Thursday, October 1, 2009


THE ORGANIC THOUGHT wrote about desh ki Mitti today. I was just musing over his thoughts and then I was reminded of 2-3 incidences which made me express my feelings through this post.

I was talking to my travel agent today regarding my ticket to Boston and then he informed me that in USA air travelers have to pay $15-20 for every check in baggage.

I was surprised to know this fact. Was it to discourage the people to travel or was it to generate more money? (In India thank God, we are still allowed to check in huge bags free of cost)

And then today morning Neha informed me that she was not feeling well ,may be food poisoning.

I felt so helpless as I couldn’t do any thing sitting so far off from her except for advising her to take some medicine from the available stock with her or go to a doctor?

And then again I was in for a shock.

“ Mumma , you cannot just go to a doctor. You have to take an appointment with him”
“ But beta if there is an emergency?
“then go to the emergency department of a hospital and get admitted” she replied

I told her, “in India we visit the doctor any time we want, for a simple ailment we don’t take appointments. We can even call him in the night for an emergency situation. For that matter I can go to a local chemist and ask him to give me some medicine. Why don’t you go to your nearby chemist shop and take some medicine
“yes mom, but this is USA yahan aisa nahi hota. The chemist will not give any medicine without prescription”

The above facts along with my conversation with one of our family friend who had come for a vacation from the big world known as USA made me express my self so vehemently today

This friend of ours who had been living in America from last 25 or so years very emotionally expressed his views about the life in the advanced country.

I am putting his views now, sometime in his own words and sometimes in my own words
According to him most of the Indians there are ABCD i.e. AMERICA BASED CONFUSED DESIS.
They enjoy the comforts, the style of life there but when it comes to their values especially with their children most of them are in a fix. They want to bring up their children there amongst the natives of America, but they don’t want their children to adopt American culture, they want their children to adopt Indian moral values.

How is it possible? You let your child grow in that free environment yet you want them to adhere to Indian spiritual and moral values.?

Then he talked about the isolation most of the Indians feel there. They may form a major work force there, they may be earning fat pay packets, they may have invested in huge houses or cars or other comforts or they may have acquired the much sought after Green card, Yet they don’t feel the emotional attachment to that country which has given them the way and style of life which they always wanted.

He said, “ inspite of living in this part of world from last more than 25 years , I still feel my roots are still in India. Moreover the fact remains that we Indians are always considered as outsiders here. We may have Americans as our friends, we may work harder than most of them, but still they don’t consider us as one of them. We don’t feel that we belong to this world”.

“ we still feel a special bonding, a special attachment for India. Daily we follow the news of India, we celebrate all Indian festivals, any thing untowardly that happens there causes concern to us.

To quote him further, “the worst part is most of the Indians try to adopt the culture of America but the fact remains that they are neither there nor here. We try to become practical and unemotional like them but in deep in our hearts we still want the show of love, affection. We miss the warmth of India. We realize the worth of Indian culture only when we are away from that .

“ in India a working couple can by just spending a few thousand rupees can employ a full time servant or even part time ones who will clean the utensils, clothes, house and who will also cook the food. By spending just few hundreds rupees one can get his clothes ironed by a dhobi. And also in India we have parents who give us that emotional backing which we lack there”

“In India we can go for work, employ a servant to look after our child and we are rest assured that the child would be looked after properly under the supervision of our parents”
( how true).
He further said, “ most of the Indians settled there wants to come back to India ( only after saving a huge bank balance to that they can live a luxurious life in India)

He narrated an incidence when his child suddenly fell ill there and his wife was all alone. He said that was the time when they missed India.
“ If we would have been here, our neighbours would have run across to help us, our relatives would have come home, we could have knocked at the door of neigbhouring doctor in the middle of night and he would have come to help us without even raising his eyebrows.”

He went on and on about comparing both the life styles and the advantages of Living in India

“ yes, we get good salary there, we have big cars. Even students can afford cars there. We can wear branded clothes, we do have a better life style, we enjoy so many luxuries there but at what cost?”

“ we are still strangers there, we try to pretend that we are very happy with our big bank balances our jet life but deep in our hearts all ABCDs are emotionally starved”

I just wonder what is that attracts most of our youth to that world. Is it the glamour of a advanced nation or independent and free life style and of course lots of money ( in terms of Indian rupees because in dollars they may not be earning so much but when converted to INR it does make an impressive number) and if it is so than why do most of the ones settled abroad talk of coming back to India?
Another thing which I have noticed while talking to may people settled abroad is their guilt feeling towards their parents who are still in India.
Being Indians with Indian values and Indian upbringing where respect of elders, taking care of old parents is still given importance these migrated birds feel guilty as they are not fulfilling their duties towards their parents but then again the greed of having their own independent life lures them and takes precedence over their guilt feeling

Is it just the desire to acquire materialistic comforts which pulls the Indians to foreign countries? Because after talking to many NRIs I have realized that very few are really satisfied with their life there.