Sunday, June 28, 2009

STAND UP ----YOUNG GENERATION

I attended a marriage last month. Some details of the marriage

Sangeet in a five star hotel with a guest list of 800+ (that includes not only relatives or friends but distant business colleagues or acquaintances and their family
Marriage in open ground ( big enough to accommodate more than 2000 guests) fresh flowers decorations everywhere ( orchids, roses etc), fireworks, sparkling lights all over, games for children,valet parking arrangements for the odd 2000 guests, more than 150 dishes in the buffet spread ( Punjabi, Rajasthani, Guajarati, Maharastrian Mexican, Chinese, continental, Italian , you name the dish and it was there)

Brides outfit (minus the jewellery) more than Rs one lakh)

Gifts given by the bride’s family to the groom’ family (mind you to the grooms family not to the groom or the bride) - diamond jewellery to immediate family members (including the male members, gold to other relatives, 21 saris to grooms mother only clothes for all near relatives, silver glasses to distant relatives AND this is besides the dowry which was given to the bride

Bride a Doctor

Groom a MBA

AND ALL THE EXPENSES BORNE BY THE FATHER OF THE BRIDE

Out of those 2000 odd guests only few knew the couple. Rest like me were guests who didn’t know even the parents. (I had accompanied my husband and father in law as they were also acquaintances of the father)

I wonder why the so called educated, modern and liberated couple didn’t object to this sheer wastage of money. Why they did not put their foot down to lavish gifts given or the dowry given and when asked the couple they replied “can’t help it, in our community all this has to be done”
How can a self respecting. decently placed boy expect his wife to bring dowry. after all equality of gender is also something.

Why the girls family is expected to spend so much on the marriage. After all, the girl is equally educated and most of the parents don’t differentiate these days between girls and boys then why do the parents of a girl have to shell out so much to see their daughter married off. Is the daughter a burden on them? Is it a crime to have a daughter or see her settled in life with a decent boy?

Is it only the girl who is getting married? Is the boy not getting a wife who will leave her house, her family to come to live with him, his family and make all of them a part of her own family?

Why doesn’t the boy’s family also contribute equally to the marriage functions? Why it is expected from the girl’s side only to bear the expenses of the marriage function.

Why dont the youngesters fight aganinst this criminal waste of money. They can make their parents understand not to throw away money over showing off.

More important why squander so much on marriage functions and invite each and every one. Why can’t this money be given to the couple to start their life with more comforts? After all, the money is being spent by the parents. Give as much as you want to your daughter but why blow the hard earned money on strangers?

I suppose marriage is a family function where only close relatives and family friends should be present to bless the couple (we didn’t even go to wish the couple for simple reasons that we didn’t know the couple and there was a long queue near the stage, we just wished the parents and left), I just thought what was the need for them to invite us or hundreds of others. Was it just to show off their riches or to show off the long guest list or to promote their business?

Fine, parents who can afford to spend so much, spend but think of parents who are financially not well off, it becomes a burden for them to see their daughter married. That is why a daughter is not welcomed in many of Indian families.

Even after the huge dowry given (which according to me is the price given to buy the boy for the girl but in our culture which is seen as the price given to the boy to marry the daughter, as if the daughter is a liability on the parents, the sooner she is disposed off, the better it is for the parents) the girl doesn’t get respect or her due place at her inlaws place.

I am all for celebrating the marriage with all traditions and customs, having all the ceremonies , giving gifts to the couple but only because I want to give not because it is expected from me being the brides parents,after all we parents earn for our children and we want them to have all the comforts and facilities,( I would like to have all the possible ceremonies for my daughter’s marriage, follow all the customs) but with only close friends and relatives who are a part of your family and who will be happy for the couple but why invite the whole town to witness your propserity or why take loans just to maintain your name in the society ( no one will come to rescue you from the clutches of loan givers once you fail to return the loan)

If the parents wants to give to the couple go ahead and give if you can afford but please don’t make a public display of your affluence.

And to the young generation especially the boys who are on the threshold of marriage, stand up, raise your voice against dowry or display of opulence of your parents in the name of tradition and customs.. Take whatever your parents can give you, even demand (after all you have the right to and it is yours only) but don’t advertise it.

Think of lakhs of family who cannot afford to do so. and even if they can afford it why encourage others to do so and in turn make others greedy/

Saturday, June 27, 2009

I AM TAGGED SO HERE I GO

Zeba you got me
Since quite some time I really wanted to write something very light (last few posts have been thought generating) so just wanted to try my hand on something which may make others smile a little and And then you tagged me. This is what I wanted!!!! Oh la la!!!!
So here I go

Four Points (Me tagged!!!)
Four places you have lived –

DELHI (the name only brings smile on my face and tons of nostalgic memories) as I say I was manufactured and then developed in Delhi and I have spent half of my life in Delhi. all those childhood pranks, the teenage crushes ( mind the plural use of the word) ( and I can imagine Neha's raised eye brows) college days, my first salary, bunking office to see first day first show of new released movies ( bunking office Can you believe it?) I Feel like singing CHOD AAYE VO GALIYAN and KOI LAUTA DE MERE VO BEETE HUE DIN)

BOMBAY second half of my life spent here ( and don’t know how many more years will I be there in this exciting city) When in Delhi this was always my dream to visit Bombay once.( Dint know that destiny will bring me permanently to this city. The first time I set foot in Bombay and saw the sea, I literally jumped from my seat and was so excited that my dad had to restrain me from dancing on the roads. Bombay had the glamour of film Industry. I walked on the road believing that film stars will bewalking all over Bombay. This is the place where I entered the new alien phase of my life i.e. my married life, and then I got my two pearls , my daughter and my son and I felt complete.
I think Bombay has given me a lot.
PRATAPGARH; My native place a small town in Rajasthan. All my summer vacations before marriage were spent there with my grandparentsand my family. Just one thing about this place which I am sure all of you reading this will enjoy. During marriage in my native place even the brides sits on a horse( in all her bridal finery) and takes round of full village and goes to her husband’s house to take the blessings of her inlaws.

BOSTON I stayed only for one month exactly but one of the best periods of my life. I got to see how my little one was managing all alone there and how independent she had become and she pampered me and took care of me like a precious china doll by saying “ Mumma you deserve this holiday”

Four T.V shows you love(d) to watch –

ONLY FOUR ;-( very difficult. I will just go mad thinking about all the serials and then selecting from that.
Here’s Lucy ( a very old English serial ) which used to come once during the early years of Television and my first serial
Ballika vadhu (The latest craze for all TV addicts)
Sarabhai vs Sarabhai a subtle comedy show without resorting to stupid mannerisms or two meaning dialogues and based on day to day affairs.
Jhalak dikha ja ( a dance reality show)

Four places you have been on vacation –
Now come to think of it , I have been to quite a number of places ( and I always fight with my husband for not taking us for holidays)

USA
Bangkok & Pattaya
Jodhpur & Jaisalmer ( I just went crazy after seeing the sand dumes)
Major places of South India, Some places of North India , Gujarat, Maharashtra

Four of your favorite foods –

Sweets,Cakes and puddings
Sabzi made by my Dad
Chole Bhature (The ones which we get in Delhi)
Tea and bread toast with lots of butter

Four websites you visit daily –
BLOGGER.COM
Google ( google talk, face book)
Yahoo mail
High Heel Confidential

Four places you would rather be –

any place where I am with my husband, daughter and son
any place where I am with my husband, daughter and son
any place where I am with my husband, daughter and son
any place where I am with my husband, daughter and son

Four things you hope to do before you die – ( You caught me there)
Pledge my eyes and other organs which are in working conditions (Pl dont laugh but I wish it possible)
See my both the children happily settled and successful (wishing too much?)
To earn lots of name and fame ( hahahhahaah)
To do something worthwhile for the cause of victims of domestic violence
Four novels you wish you were reading for the first time –

The Prodigal daughter
Rage of Angles
Spouse
The Promise

Four Movies You Can See Over and Over
Kuch Kuch hota hai
Hum aapke hai Kaun
Maine Pyar Kiya
Chupke Chupke

Tag Four People You Believe Will Respond
Why four only, I want to tag lots and lots ( but will compromise with six at the moment)
Neha ( I want to know more and more about her, don’t want to miss on any aspect of her life, quite a possessive and over indulgent mother I am!!!)
IHM ( I don’t know whether she will respond to this or not But I would love to know her responses) Ramya (I just love her posts and feels very motherly towards her)
Ashish (his expressions and style of writing is too much, Lets see what he comes up with)
Milan ( a new blogger and I wish him to express himself and read what he writes)
Aparna ( hope your baby is ok and you can communicate with all of us once again)

Thursday, June 25, 2009

MY DREAM OF A SECURED HAVEN FOR ELDERS

“Four months and 8 senior citizens murdered in Mumbai “ today’s breaking news

“In Delhi on an average one case in 15 days of senior citizens being looted or murdered” another news

We cannot just shy away from these shattering statistics. This statistic forces all of us to take a pause and think.

In India these days due to incept of nuclear families, young generation going abroad or in another cities for better career growth, or the trend of enjoying independent life has forced the parents to live all alone.

In good old golden days we had joint families system, so the problem of loneliness, segregation, were not there and we could not think of leaving our parents to live their life alone . A whole lot of family members were there to take care of each other in times of sickness or other family crisis.

But now it has become very common to find old parents staying alone in big houses at the mercy of servants, fending for themselves on their own, managing their health, wealth issues on their own and taking care of each other on their own and becoming easy target for the thieves and criminals.

The young generation involved with their own nuclear families, their jobs, their ambitions, their life style visit their parents once in a year ( if settled abroad) or once in a week that too out of sheer moral duty ( with most of the times no feelings) .They think that visiting or sending money or talking on the phone regularly relieves them of their duties and responsibilities.

I am not saying that children should not dream of achieving their ambitions and live the way they want or think about their future or thier children's.

But some solution has to be found to save the parents becoming easy prey for cheating, theft, loneliness, getting emotionally blackmailed by people who will play on their emotions and finally succumbing to getting murdered.

With the changing times and globalization this problem is going to be there and parents will often find themselves in such situations and children will be in a fix whether to explore their dreams or give up their ambitions for parents.

Parents are not selfish that they will restrict the growth of their children for their own personal needs. Afterall it is their dream to see their children well settled and florish.

I have my own ideas to deal with this issue.

If the children are staying in the same city then if possible they should stay in the same neighborhood so that the young ones can enjoy their independence and parents have the security that the children are there when ever they need them.

And most important my Dream From last so may days I have been nurturing a dream. A dream of providing friendly, secured environment to this vulnerable section of our society.

(Now please don’t laugh) after all dreams know no boundaries. I can venture any where.

I dream that I have had a windfall of money and with the millions of Rupees which I have got; I am constructing a huge residential complex with half of it earmarked for senior citizens only. (Rest for young generation with small children)

I dream of having a building complex where such lonely parents will live in their individual flats but will share the joys and sorrows of each other with other fellow lonely senior citizens, they will share all festivals together, be there for others to take care in times of sickness (after all the children are not there to look after them) The members will either help each others or employ someone who will assist them in paying the bills, insurance premiums, bank work etc

The complex will be equipped with all necessary shops (grocery, chemist, tailor, barber, doctor) A proper security system will be there to safe guard them.

A common club house where there will be yoga, meditation classes, or some other facilities for the senior citizens to pursue their hobbies and interests.

The complex will have young generation also staying (all those nuclear family believers) to provide the bubbly youth environment to the inmates and bring back the smiles back on their faces. The presence of small children will help the elders forget their own grand children and they will get a chance to pamper the kids (the way the parents would have done if their own grandchildren were there)

THIS SOUNDS LIKE A DREAM WORLD AND VERY FAR FETCHING?

Any takers for this idea? Do you thing this is feasible?

or do you have some solution for this burning problem which is bothering the Police, the judiciary, the new set of parents who are on the thresh hold of entering the category of lonely parents and of course the children who are in a dilemma whether to pursue their dreams or trade their ambitions for their duties and responsbilies

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

WOMAN THEN AND NOW

Disclaimer Through this post I am neither trying to hurt the religious sentiments of any one nor am I insulting any God or religion. So anyone who doesn’t like my post please ignore this and don’t feel offended

I have been watching Ramayan serial on NDTV Imagine off and on from its beginning.

It is a very good effort by the producers to teach the young generation our rich mythological culture and make them realize the importance of family, family values, obedience and motivate them to read our sacred religious testament RAMAYAN. (my son also watches it almost regularly and he has come to know about this inspirational heritage of our culture and the value it teaches.

What I am commenting is on the status of women which is portrayed in Ramayan (in the serial as well as the sacred book)

Yesterday’s episode showed Luv Kush telling the whole of Ayodhya that they are Rams sons. But Ram to be a Just and principled King asks them to call Sita and to prove that they are indeed Ram’s son and she has to prove her Satitava. ( I suppose people from Indian origin will be aware of these religious facts and if not then please read it)

Once again I have nothing against the religious sentiments or our religion but what brought the anger in me to surface was the way Sita was made to prove her innocence ,her loyalty towards her husband and her purity again in again.
The Agnipraiksha ( One of its own kind, I have never heard of woman proving her chasteness any where else by passing through fire) which she had given after she was rescued from the clutches of Ravana , was that not enough , that now once again she was asked to prove to the whole world her purity?.
(Pray tell me how one can prove that one is loyal to her/his spouse? And how could she prove at that time (thousands of years ago) that Luv Kush are Ram’s sons (I suppose we didn’t have DNA Test at that time)

Why was Sita forced to face such an embarrassing situation?

This makes me wonder that position of woman in our society has not changed. It is still the same. During that era of our civilization, i.e. the Satyug period, women were subjected to such humiliation and even now we stand at the same platform. Women are degraded by the hands of their husbands, inlaws, children, unknown people, and religion and at times by the woman themselves.

(Today again in TOI there is mention of an 11 year old being raped by her father and the mother doesn’t have the guts to complaint against her husband)
and another case of a woman gang raped by 5 police man!!! where is the safety for woman?

Coming back to story of Ramayan

Think about the plight of Mandodari, wife of Ravan who was forced to live with the fact that her husband has kidnapped another woman and wants to marry her despite of him having sons of marriageable age.

Even now wives are facing the humiliation of living with and sheltering husbands who commit rape. Where is the change???

There are innumerable incidences in our history or religion where women were victimized, insulted and made to bow down to unreasonable dictates of husbands or men in general

I am unable to comprehend whether there has been emancipation of women or not over a period of time? If yes, then why the ban on Jeans in the girls colleges as it attracts boys and forces them to eve tease!!!!!, as if a fully covered women will not be eve teased by men?)

I am aware of the revolution in the fields of education, equality, employment, financial independence but at one time or other women are subjected to discrimination by the hands of men.

May be I am sounding confused (actually I am) because of jumbled up emotions and thoughts in my mind but the fact remains that my blood boils when I see members of my sex in such helpless situations.

i am no feminist but a normal woman who feels suffocated when i read about the injustice metted out the woman.

Friday, June 19, 2009

ALL THE MEN GET PREPARED

Two posts consecutively targeting men, I know, I will be termed a feminist or a man hater.

Although the topic will raise the eyebrows of the men but this mail is primarily for all the parents who raise their sons as the immortal Gods who need to be cherished and shooed away from all the mundane daily chores of a family life.

Recently I met a newly married young woman. I was expecting her to be on cloud nine, jubilant and brimming with happiness but I was in for a shock. She was depressed and disillusioned with married life and full of complaints about her husband

Quoting her verbatim “my husband doesn’t share the daily household chores with me (as he doesn’t know anything), he never even picks up his plates or gets water for himself, has no clue about family life and all the paraphernalia that comes along with being married, even I am working woman and I also come tired after a long day at office, should he not be helping me, and even if he offers to help a little my inlaws stop him’ etc she went on and on.

This conversation set my ever fertile mind to start toiling and I thought whose fault was it actually, the husbands or his parents.

The conscientious woman that I am, I put the entire blame of this on the parents.

Right from the time a daughter is born parents especially mothers start preparing her for her role and duties as a wife, mother, and daughter in law. She is taught cooking, household chores, given long lectures on relationships.

But tell me how many sons are prepared for their future roles? How many mothers teach their sons to be good husbands? How many sons get the training in household work, or maintaining multiple relations after marriage?

In today’s scenario when both the partners are working it is equal responsibility of both of them to share the household work. When the wife’s earning are at par with the husband and she is in no way secondary to her husband then why should she be the only one to work in the kitchen after a long tiring day at the office or manage the house all alone?

I think parents should realize that they not only have their duty to prepare their daughters for the future life but they also have an equally important duty towards their sons to guide them and train them for better husbands and fathers.

After all I have also been through the same treadmill. Even today if my husband tries to help me in daily chores or he comes home with some shopping for vegetables or fruits or he picks up this plates (I think my regular arguments and tiffs have changed him a little) my mother in law starts “tcch tcching” How can apple of her eye be forced to do such small job? So she comes running to help him.

So talking from my personal experience if I could get irritated by this behavior, any young woman will get.

I don’t claim to be an ideal mother (even I overlook so many faults of my son, whereas my daughter used to get long lectures over the same things) but I do try to teach him about relationships and how he should learn to appreciate the work done by others and I nag him a lot regarding his short temper or impatient behaviour. Most of the time I can be found telling him “learn to be patient, tolerant, appreciative , cooperative otherwise your wife will fight with you or she will blame me for your incompetence as a good husband.

we have a democratic country with special emphasis on equality and no discrimination on basis of sex in employment then why there should be sexual discrimination in preparation for one of the most important role of a human being i.e. of a family person?

all the parents please don’t discriminate between your sons and daughters and teach both of the same qualities of endurance, patience, understanding, adjustments and of course housekeeping.

And jaago all the boys if you want happy married life then learn to share your responsibilities in household work and of course maintaining relationships and incorporate all the qualities which you are looking for in your life partner, in yourself first.

Monday, June 15, 2009

SORRY ALL THE MEN

I am just expressing myself with no offence or insult meant to the members of opposite sex and no one should take it personally but these are my views and feelings.
I realise that all the men will take it with a pinch of salt but a request just think rationally and objectively.

I have nothing against men or sexual needs of both the sexes. I know it is an important and integral part of life and we can not do without it but what perturbs me is the distorted way of satisfaction of this natural desire.

Yesterday read about Shiney Ahuja and how he raped his maid servant

Last month there was a news item about Deepak Tijori and how his young daughter was kidnapped

Last week I came to know that from a busy road from Mumbai in broad day light a young girl who was walking with her parents was forcibly taken by some boys, raped and then thrown on the road side a few miles away.

And if we open any news paper there is bound to be a news item on men molesting women/eve teasing/rape/father having sexual relations with his own daughter?

All these incidences have one thing in common and that is all of them are related to male libido and male sexual desires.

I have never heard of any women molesting a man, or kidnapping a man to satisfy her sexual needs. I admit that there are cases of woman seducing man for her sexual urges but such cases are very very rare but have never heard of a woman taking advantage of her own son (isshtttttttt------ can’t even think of it. Mere thought is so nauseating)

As compared to men the cases of women who have resorted to such shameful acts are negligible.

This raises a question

Do the women are devoid of sexual urges? Or they know how to restrain themselves?

Are male sexual urges so powerful that they can’t resist themselves and exercise some voluntarily control over it?

What compels man to resort to such lecherous behavior and compels him to stoop down so low as to molest his own daughter?

Is the gratification of his lust so strong that man forgets about his status, his position in the society and ambitions, family responsibilities and obligations?

is it possible for an urge like sex and the resulatant momentary pleasure so strong that it blinds the senses, the consciousness of the person that he is ready to gamble his very exisence, his life, his social standing his career, his dreams and jeopardise his progress.

Whatever the reason may be, the victim is always a woman who has to suffer the brunt of this stigma which is enforced on her with no fault of hers except for her being a woman that too because of God’s desire.

Thinking about all this I feel like crying over the vulnerability of women and the humiliation meted out the members of my sex.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

SIBLING RIVALRY OR SIBLING HARMONY

Mukesh Ambani v/s Anil Ambani, Pramod Mahajan v/s Pravin Mahajan, Atulaya Mafatlal v/s Ajay Mafatlal ------ all of them have many things in common. They are well known personalities of India but more important than that is the fact that they share the same umbilical cord (they all are siblings) And they all are deeply indulged in family feuds.

Their fights, whether family or business have become talk of the whole nation.
While reading about them I wondered how come they, who are brothers and brothers or brother and sister, stoop down so low as to make their sibling altercation public.

Right from birth they must have shared the same love, same caring, same affection and most of the time same disciplinary rules (In India we do have certain differentiation in restrictions imposed on boys and girls otherwise for boys same rules applies)

They must have been the best of friends; must have shared their childhood secrets, their fears, their mistakes, wrongs committed by them,

Why talk about them only, take example of any two siblings

They are the ones who are partners in various mischiefs done during growing up days, they hide each other’s secrets, they take each other’s side when confronted with high authorities (read parents), at times they even take blame on themselves for the misdeeds of others and they are even ready to fight with outsiders for each other, They stand up to each other.

Of course between them they must have had their little squabble on various petty issues like books, pencils. Pens, erasers, clothes and if little grown up then girl friends or boyfriends. They may have hidden each other’s things or blamed each other for the fault committed by them. But Sibling rivalry is very common among children

Many a times parents are accused of being partial towards one child thus neglecting other one.

These are all inherent within a family. But they are never considered a big issue. No parent can boost of non existence of sibling rivalry between his progeny.
Despite of all the bickering, physical fights, and arguments the young sibling always remains as one in front of outside world. They fight but soon they make up and become best of the pals.

Then what happens when they grow up? Why do they become sworn enemies of each other?
Why do they resort to mudslinging on each other?

Mostly the feuds between brothers are over property (Mafatlals) ,money, business (Ambanis) or fame(Mahajans).

Does the possession of material things, big bank balances or fame more important than the love and affection between them.

This sort of competition is not only prevalent between brothers and brothers but very common in brothers and sisters too.

During growing up Brothers and sisters are the shadow of each other, they are ready to do anything for each other, they go out of their way to help each other, they are the soul mates of each other, they remain awake the whole night to give company to other during exams etc but once the brother or sister is married the equation changes.

After some time the inseparable brother and sister change so much that they can’t stand the sight of each other. Bickering, animosity, bitterness replaces the love and affection between them.

Does the entry of a husband or wife intrude the blood relation? Does the other sibling think that the entry of a new comer will rock the relation between the siblings? Is their relation so shaky that mere presence of an outsider will tilt their otherwise solid foundation.

Jealousy, feeling of competition, self importance, difference of opinion, desire for high achievement, inferiority complexes, success egos and many more reasons are the cause of rivalry in adults

But one thing is sure that the rivalry which was there during childhood continues to burn deep. And it erupts again when they grow up. In some cases new rivalries pop up. When sibling rivalry persists into adulthood, the conflict and self-doubts can be devastating

Have the siblings ever thought how much torturous,painful and heart breaking it would be for the parents to watch their offspring , their loved ones whom they have nurtured with their own blood to indulge in fights over flimsy issues, character assassination and defamation of each other resulting in animosity between generations to come.

Why do such siblings bent upon disproving the statement that BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER.

Monday, June 8, 2009

TO BE A JUDGE OR NOT ?

I always used to think that judging or to be a judge is so easy. You just have to sit on a separate chair away from all but center of attraction of everybody as everyone’s eyes are on you and like a king give your opinion.

But I soon came out of my delusions and I realized that Judging is totally a different experience. (And worth all the anxieties also)

Actually today I was asked to judge a painting competition and a Jodi No 1
couple) competition in some women’s social group

I was very apprehensive whether I will be able to do justice to the honour which has been bestowed on me?

Whether I will be able to do impartial judgement?

What if I miss out on some aspect?

What if the contestants are not happy with my judgement (everyone has their own preferences?)

What if someone criticizes my results?

I was sure it is going to be a nightmarish experience.

While I was musing over this, I was reminded of a Hindi classic story “PANCH PARMESHWAR BY MUNSHI PREMCHAND (I am sure no one from the present generation would have heard of him , just Google and see ). This is the famous story of two friends. Algu is the village chief and when it comes to do the justice, he doesn't spare his best friend Jumman. Since Jumman did not get Algu's favour, friends become foes. But at the end, when Jumman gets the chance to sit on the judgement seat, the realization comes now when the tables are turned and finally "Justice" wins. And then everyone says that the one who sits on the chair of judge cannot do injustice.

So taking inspiration from this story I went for the challenging job of judging. All the way to the venue I was continuously chanting that when you hold a position then certainly some responsibilities comes along with it which may defer you from being prejudiced towards any particular.

Luckily for me I knew none of the contestants but to adjudge fellow human beings, that too elderly ladies, all superseding one another it was a herculean task.

I was completely baffled as there was no clear cut out rules to select the best. I went on cutting and overwriting the marks, changing my opinions after the exit of each contestant. My writing pad was a complete mess. I was busy hiding it from the probing eyes of others (what will they think of me? such a messy lady)

(Hats off to all those judges who sit so confidently, calmly, patiently with smiles on their faces during all those beauty contests and reality shows)

Any ways to cut the whole thing short it finally got over and also came up with the same stereotyped speech that everyone was good and it was very difficult to select the best but I have tried my best etc etc.

Before the program I had vowed that I will never take this post again

BUT after the program I think that it was not all that bad experience and I may take another shot at it.

THANK YOU

"I can no other answer make, but, thanks, and thanks." ~William Shakespeare
First I would like to thank Bill Austin and http://blogofthedayawards.blogspot.com for selecting my blog for this esteemed award

Thank you so much for selecting my blog for the award. It is such an encouragement for a novice like me who is still in the budding stage of blogging.

This award has motivated me to express myself more

And I feel on top of the world. After all an award is a big achievement. It is like receiving an OSCAR.

AND a Big Thank You to all my blogging buddies who take out time from their busy schedules and read my posts and also gives their valuable comments. Your comments are the reinforcing force behind my writing.

Thank you once again for following my blog and wishing me.

And a special thanx to my encourager who literally bulldozed me into blogging, my guide and my critic i.e. my daughter. Thank you so much for introducing me to this world.

“I thought I was all alone….until blogging and you all walked in my life…
And made a difference in my existence THANKS for being there. .

Saturday, June 6, 2009

My First Blog Award !!!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

JUST THINK ABOUT IT

Although it is a forwarded mail but I would like to share it with all the busy people around.
A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.
SON: 'Daddy, May I ask you a question?'
DAD: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the man.
SON: 'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: 'That's none of your business.
Why do you ask such a thing?' the man said angrily.
SON: 'I just want to know.
Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: 'If you must know, I make $50 an hour.'
SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.
SON: 'Daddy, may I please borrow $25?'
The father was furious,
'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed.
Think about why you are being so selfish.
I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.'
The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.
The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions.
How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think:
Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often.
The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.
'Are you asleep, son?' He asked.
'No daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.
'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the man. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you..
Here's the $25 you asked for.'
The little boy sat straight up, smiling.
'Oh, thank you daddy!' he yelled..
Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.
The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.
The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.
'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the father grumbled.
'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied.
'Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?
Please come home early tomorrow.
I would like to have dinner with you.'
The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

It's just a short reminder to all of us working so hard in life.

We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $50 worth of your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours.

But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Am I old fashioned?

Read in today’s newspaper “Increase in sale of emergency pills. Doctors say that easy availability of emergency pills has led to an increased carelessness towards safe sex, even leading to more abortions”.

And then read yesterday “99 cases reported of swine flu and people are walking with masks on their faces. But there are lakhs of cases of AIDS and still people are hesitant to use condom”.

Both these items made my dormant mind to come back to life.

The so called magic pills --I pills and Unwanted 72 pills which are easily available at any chemist are meant for rape victims to save them from getting victimized because of no fault of theirs or for married couples who want to plan their families and thus help in controlling the population of the country.

I don’t think these pills are meant for immature teenagers who are still coming in grips with their sexuality and increasing demands of their growing body.

We hear of so many cases of abortions of unmarried girls ( a survey conducted in Mumbai during Navratri days revealed that cases of abortions suddnely shoot up after navratris)

With the easy availability of these so called magic pills unmarried girls and boys will not think twice before indulging in premarital sex.

The sudden panic of finding oneself pregnant after a quick session of sexual satisfaction has just vanished from the minds of over enthusiastic, over stimulated young couples. There will be no moral restrain on budding minds, no fear of society, no dread of parental discipline.

Moreover the blooming young boys will not take precautions and will easily fall prey to much dreaded HIV syndrome. (Why should they bother about any repercussions on the girls, it is not their headache now. The girls can easily pop up a pill and all tension is over). Even the girls are moving on the same wave length. Gone are the days of panic of finding oneself burdened with results of temporary physical pleasures? The days of parental confrontations and explanations have flown away.

Live in relations, mixing with members of opposite sex, easy access to secluded areas all are contributory factors in continuously decreasing values.

I may be sounding old fashioned and many of my blogging buddies may pass my post as OH! It is generation gap. She doesnt understand the present day, fast moving , savvy youngsters.

But is it really that?

Has the concept of society and parents permission (in the form of marriage) before enjoying the physical pleasures becomes obsolete?

Have the satisfaction of carnal desires superseded the moral values of today’s generation?

what kind of character building traits will the so called modern youth pass on to their progeny?