Wednesday, April 29, 2009

DAWN OR DUSK?

Yesterday front page of most of the daily newspaper were adorned with one news only. No, it was not concerning Politics/elections/ Corruption/ malpractices/underworld.
It was a news item with the heading DIVORCE GRANTED TO OLD AGED COUPLE or similar heading
The subject matter of the news was that an old aged Parsi couple after 42 years of married life decided to end their married life by seeking the ultimate respite available to some of the married people from their hellish married life----DIVORCE.
I couldn’t believe my eyes when I read the age of the couple. Husband 78 years and wife 74 years!
The reason given by wife was the same old one- physical and mental torture by husband and his family.
In our society, for that matter in any society anywhere in the world domestic violence is very common. Be it a financially poor family or families belonging to the upper strata of the society, be it educated so called emancipated ,moving with the times couples or uneducated, illiterate couples. Physical and mental torture by husbands and in laws is very common.
I am in a dilemma whether I should applaud the courage shown by the wife of finally ending the farce called as marriage which she was tolerating since so many years or feel sorry for both of them for deserting the company of each other at this crucial stage of their life
Most of the women’s organizations will surely appreciate the bold step taken by the lady that too at this junction of life when company of life partners is as important as meeting daily needs. This is the age when loneliness, deteriorating health, physical weakness, low self esteem, disillusionment and disorientation with life become the closest friends of old people . The main comfort the people derive is from their friends or life partners..The biggest nightmare for such people is loneliness caused by the death of life partner.
And this lady decided to part ways not even giving a second thought to her future or the problems which she may face later. I feel like saying Hats off the lady. She had the guts to put an end to her traumatic married life and live an independent life away from the shadow of her over bearing husband.
But then I am again forced to think was this step right? If she had tolerated for so long why didn’t she show some more patience and tried to adjust a little more. Was her decision to leave her husband who is at the threshold of succumbing to death any moment right one?
After the divorce the couple will be staying next doors only in adjacent flats. Will they remain immune to each other’s needs and requirements? Will their heart not bleed when the other person is ill or incapable of fulfilling the daily chores?
I am confused whether to consider this drastic step taken by them as the dawn of a new era where women will not tolerate the inhumane behavior of their spouse, where women with no regards to their physical age or age of their married life will stand up to the ill treatment meted out to them and look for new horizons in their life OR is the sun setting for the institution of marriage where life partners were committed to each other for good or worse, where husband and wife together as one entity were ready to face any obstacles and be the supporting pillar of each other.. Is this the dawn of a new day where feeling of self or I will override the feeling of WE, where individual will become more important than the sacred vows taken at the time of marriage Or is dusk setting in for the concept of marriage?

2 comments:

Neha Gandhii said...

I think this step should have been taken years ago...when the alleged torture actually began.
Whats the point of adjusting when it gets suffocating.

I think the lady is better off alone, then be with her husband who has battered her self-respect all this while.

Atleast, now she can peacefully look at herself into the mirror because she did not succumb to the needs to the old-age and that to expecting support from the person who on paper was her partner, but probably was the cause of her pain.

Atleast now she has the will to live all the remaining years she has now and will lead them as a warrior and a winner.

I applaud her!!!

aruna khasgiwala said...

Such decisions are undoubtedly bold. Human Behavior is really complex. Under what circumstances both of them decided to seperate at the fag end of life, we don't know, but certainly such action should have been much much earlier, rather than at this juncture when you become a point of laughter.

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