Friday, August 14, 2009

USUAL V/S UNUSUAL

After so many thought provoking, debatable/controversial and serious posts, I thought I will try my hand with something which may bring smile on someone’s face or bring him out of his somber state. So here comes a somewhat light, humorous (I hope so) flow from my otherwise confused mind, just to prove that I do have a sense of humor and can find pleasure from small tit bits of day to day life.
So here I go
There are certain questions which we ask regularly to show our politeness, our etiquettes and our culture. But do we really expect an answer to those questions?
Ever wondered if instead of the usual, stereotyped, routine answers to the same old question we come up with some thing different? Just imagine the situations and some off the mark answers.
Here I have given some usual questions and my answers to them (How I wish I could give the answers in reality in real life situations) but I live in a Hippocratic society where certain norms and standards are expected and I have to bow down to acceptable norms of life.
So here are some common questions and their permissible and expected answers in brackets and in bold letters fragmentation of my brain cells
How are you? (I am good) I am not good / I am not well / I am not O K /better than you

How is your health? ( Ok/ fine) Oh! I have severe stomach upset, my knees are paining, my sugar is very high, I am having loose motions, or I am having gas problem

Take care. (thanx. You too) Thanx for reminding me to take care otherwise I would not have done so/ you please don’t take care

In a shopping mall, oh what are you doing here? (shopping) I have come to play cricket

Ok , You have come for shopping (ofcourse ) No, I have come to lift some things if I get the chance

In a restaurant in the evening, Come for dinner (yes ) No. will wait for the breakfast/ No, will just watch others eating.

While eating “Eating food) ( yeah ) no, playing with them or just waiting the food to turn back to its basic ingredients

when some one is sleeping (very common with husband and wife)
Are you sleeping? (Pray tell me if the other person is sleeping how will he answer?) if awake then no trying to eat the mattress or trying to dance while lying on the mattress.

In a doctors Clinic, “come to see the dr. Some one is ill? (yes) No, came for a walk and thought may be the doctor has changed his profession and may be he is selling saris

You are reading and the person asks you what are you doing? ( yeah reading a book) Feeling hungry so thought that will try the taste of the books

In your living room you are just sitting, what are you doing? (just sitting) I am trying to swim

Or we just to start a conversation we often say, Hey what’s happening or Kya chal raha hai (kuch nahi, nothing ) fan, computer, AC, TV sab chal raha hai, sirf car nahi chal rahi, or nothing is happening, everything is dead

Or what is new in life? ( Same old life same old routine) oh I got a new shirt, new maid servant, new soap or something like that

There could be variety of such funny questions with equally funny answers.

So now any body who has managed to read the churned out ruminations of my thoughts then do share what will be your answers in such situations or if you could share some of the other equally funny questions with their funnier answers.
HAPPY BRAIN STORMING

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Alas..nice to see a funny post on your blog..have read many such thing but good to see your take on those...

nice post...:D

regards
http://allthecrap.wordpress.com/

Indian Home Maker said...

:) LOL My brother in laws biggest complain with casual How're you's is that they never wait to hear his answer :)

Nice reading a lighthearted post here Anju :)

kshama said...

It made a great reading..even the other article...'hypocrisy...'is so very true!

Ooglers Googlers said...

Aha@ I finally see a paradigm shift bhuva.... finally from loads of serious posts to a light hearted one. Indeed this one brought giggles on my face and what a way to start celebrating India's independence day (reading your lovely blog). It is truly UNEXPECTED, hence my blog too....EXPECT the UNEXPECTED.

Keep em coming....

ZB said...

hehehehe, i was indeed LOL.......Nice answers, but cant imagine saying so.

Of course, i have given answers like, for ** how are you?**---better than you, same as yesterday.etc, but with friends.

Different post. enjoyed it. :))

AnjuGandhi said...

Thanx anonymous, IHM,Oogles Googles, Kshma and ZB for having the patience to read my this post. I suddenly realised that i was getting very serious with every thing so just thought of changing my style. On independence day freedom from seriousness !!!!!!
but i was hoping atleast one person will come up with his own wise answers to the usual questions.
I am still waiting

Sakshi said...

Let me confess first. I have been lurking in your blog for quiet sometime reading your other posts. To be honest I was scared shit to comment at your intelligent observations. I thought I will make a fool of myself if I comment my usual nonsense here. Aww feel much lighter after this confession coz I always say i live on comments and I never put my two cents here.

That was definitely a funnier side of you.I think my friends and neighbours have stopped asking me these questions coz I always answer Ulta. I know I was trying to be funny but they got bored of it.

Gayathri said...

i loved this one in particular,"Take care. (thanx. You too) Thanx for reminding me to take care otherwise I would not have done so/ you please don’t take care"
Take care,but where from?!

Mimi said...

HI!!!
Oh my goodness those are so true!!!
If we really could answer some questions in such a sarcastic way sometime!!! It would be funny in so many ways!! Of course, I'M GUILTY of asking such dumb questions sometimes!!!
loved that one!!!
hugs,
jamie

Neha said...

haha, nice read..quite enjoyed it...we too do such things with friends..:)

Apanatva said...

very nice post.In india atleast you can relate some concern but in u s people are very polite and qs are mechanical.

BK Chowla said...

I do not think your earlier posts were controvertial at all.However,the best was Take care.I must add a real incident...I was on a flt to Delhi and so was Arun Govil(famous Ram)Very innocently he asked me."Aap bhi dilli ja rahe ho?"Very innocently I said ..No if they stop I will get off at Jaipur.Neither of us meant it .It just happened.

Suman said...

nice

Queenmothermamaw said...

Acquaintance, "Hi, how are you?"
QMM "High? Hell,no I'm flying.Want a lift?"

Angu I read your post above and was quite impressed. I know to expect the best from you, but I am behind, as you know, with my daughter's illness. She is better. So I am trying to catch up. Thanks for all your comments and prayers. You are a super woman.
QMM

~Just me again~ said...

Great post lol so true.

Then there's the one, where you haven't seen someone in forever. You don't particularly care for this person, and they're like we should do lunchcoffee sometime? (sure, that would be great) Um, no, you never called me before, why start now? It's just something you say before you say take care.

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