Tuesday, August 4, 2009

IS SHE GUILTY????

A lady was cleaning the room with a disinfectant, and suddenly she rushed to open the door leaving the bottle on the floor itself. Her 1 year old child waking up from his sleep came running and without realizing what is in the bottle drank it. And as expected he became sick and succumbed to death because of the poisonous chemical which he had taken by mistake
The whole family, relatives and neighborhood blamed the mother, called her various names, and left no stones unturned to make her life miserable because a life was lost because of her carelessness.

Even the mother was blaming her self and admitting the responsibilty for the loss of her child and she was ready for any punishment either by the law or the society itself. She was completely shattered

But the husband stood like a rock behind his wife, like a pillar on her side and like a punch bag absorbing the shock which was being meted out his wife. Someone asked him, how he can be so cool, forgiving and generous towards his wife who was responsible for the loss of his only child?

I was stunned by the reply given by the husband and I would like to share it with all. He said, “How can I say anything to her,
1. This was not her fault at all. She was not aware that the child will wake up and will drink the disinfectant.
2. No parent in his/her senses would consciously or even unconsciously do something which will cost his /her child’s life. It is not a question whether it is the only child or one amongst many. She did not do this intentionally.
3. She is already suffering. It is not that she is happy with what has happened. By abusing her or calling her names or making her feel guilty why increase her pain more?
4. Her loss is more than anyone else’s. her loss is inconsolable She is the mother. She has lost her child. Nothing in the world can compensate for the loss .She has to bear the pain all through her life. I will go to office and under pressure of my work I will overcome the grief but she will be at home the whole day. She will be the one who will have to take care of all his things, toys, his personal belongings etc. she will be missing him more than any one else.
5. We are a family. We both have lost our child and it is a joint pain which we both have to come to terms with. We have taken the vows to be with each other in all walks of life so how can I desert her at this stage when she needs my support the most? So how can I or any one blame her”

I would say hats off to such an understanding, caring and loving husband.

God forbids any thing similar happens in our life then how many of us would have thought in these lines? I am sure most of us would jump at the first chance to blame someone for anything which doesn’t give us satisfaction or which causes pain to us. It is so easy to relive oneself from shouldering the responsibility and make some innocent persons guilty

It is a very common to find husbands blaming their wives for anything that happens in the house, be it child’s failure, business loss, sickness in the family or any other crisis. The wife is held responsible for all the mishappenings in the family BUT rarely she will be praised or her contribution would be acknowledged if something commendable happens in the family.

Why don’t they realize that no woman/wife/mother will do anything which would be detrimental to the peace of the family? She will neither obstruct the growth of her loved ones nor will she ever dream of causing pain to any family member.

I think we must all learn a lesson from this gentleman who deserves a standing ovation for his thoughtfulness, his humane nature, his considerate and positive attitude and his feelings for his wife.

36 comments:

Insignia said...

Kudos to the person. He is the man, true man. The lady is so lucky to have got an understanding husband.
We are quick enough to blame others, without even thinking twice. People are such, society is such.

Gayathri said...

true!! the understanding and care is commendable!!not often do we find people of that kind..

Ketan said...

Anju ma'am, this was a touching post. Thanks for sharing it with your readers!

Yes, understanding as well as composure that man was commendable. I won't be surprised if some people turn back to him and call him 'insensitive' or accuse him of being unloving towards his child.

But I don't agree with the last part of your post entirely--largely because I don't believe in blanket generalizations.

I know of ladies who in order to impress/make envious their neighbors/friends make their husbands buy furniture/jewelry/vehicle, etc., despite that causing them great financial stress. I'm not criticizing women, just stressing that we should not generalize, and that every person (irrespective of the gender) is unique, and may have traits that depart from the usual trend.

TC.

SG said...

Nice post. The husband is a role model for all the husbands in the world and learn from him.

~Just me again~ said...

Very good post! To err is human, the poor woman has to live with it for the rest of her life.

Swatantra said...

I had tears while reading this.. I cannot believe that it is true story. Such an understanding person.. Loved this..

Thanks for sharing!!

Jyothi said...

Standing Ovation for the man. May we never have to face such a situation in life. But If we ever do have to, may we find a pillar of a husband/wife beside us. Great Post as usual..

The Panorama said...

A very touching post indeed. Hats off to the wonderful husband. I know the mother is suffering but when you have an infant at home, you cannot allow yourself the luxury of being careless. Children are unpredictable and do what you least expect them to do. It is an extremely painful way for her to learn a lesson for life but I do think she was at fault.
However statistics prove that most small children die due to accidents at home so she is not alone in making this terrible mistake.
But the relatives blaming her and abusing her is not fair. She is probably suffering the most- imagine having to live the burden of this grief for the rest of her life.

Ms. Neha Gandhi said...

great post...
could you please post a link stating the news related to this post also

Queenmothermamaw said...

Oh such a sad story. I pray that everyone can be so forgiving as this man. The world surely needs understanding and forgiveness.
QMM

Mimi said...

HI!!!
Great post and I love that story as a Mom and a MIMI, children do and get into things beyond our imagination, they are fast and very curious little beings, No one should judge --UNLess you have walked in her shoes, no one is perfect and all of us have done things we look back on and say why didn't I just do this or that???Do not judge--lest you be judged!!!
hugs to you my dear friend,
jamie

Nazish Rahman said...

This is what a relationship is all about..trusting and supporting when required. Its a lesson to everyone..thanks for sharing with us!

So blessed! said...

good post!
So nice to meet you. I've never met anyone from India before. Cool!
Thanks for stopping by my blog the other day and for all the nice comments.
Enjoyed reading some of your past posts, very interesting.
Have a blessed day!

Anonymous said...

Very Nice.. This Story is touching...
Dipti

BK Chowla said...

God's will.Almighty just finds ways of testing us at various stages in life.I must say that the couple was very unfortunate to have faced what they did but the lady must have felt really strong to find such a supportive husband.

ZB said...

the man has showed his class. he is what we call a real man. Really Nice post, thanks for sharing.:)

Lesllie Tripaathhy said...

beautifully described..

god bless yu

Neha said...

all one needs in a relationship is understanding, and you have conveyed it beautifully thru this post...thank u...

manju said...

Very touching post!

I think every mother has done something or neglected to do something which could have ended in tragedy, but luckily didn't.

Who is so perfect that they can judge this mother?

Durga Nandan said...

:) Men who undervalue women, try taking a leaf from this man's life.
Cheerz to that man!
DN

abdul hai said...

We must learn lesson for that gentle man

Nice idea

Apanatva said...

very touching story and very well written.It is teaching all of us a lesson, we all have to be extra careful when infants are around.

AnjuGandhi said...

Thanx to every one who read my post
we all want understanding and caring partners but must not forget that even he/she will be looking for the same qualities in us.I just pray that if out of 22 till now who have read my post even if one learns somthing from it and changes his attitude then my writing and sharing my views is worth every thing.

Queenmothermamaw said...

Dear AnjuGandhi, check out my post Aug 5th. Do you know of the man I took my mystic meditation from. He won the first Nobel prize in literature?
I loved this quote. Blessings
QMM

Shruti SriHarsha said...

wow - simply beautiful!
U r soo true when you said be it Husband's or anyone, people will be ready to "BLAME GAME" anytime, just waiting for the chance....

wish everyone can think twice or thrice on reacting and hurting loved ones..
Beautiful post Anju!

sm said...

excellent
excellent
excellent

shilpa said...

My heart melted reading this story.ohhhh its so sad and deeply touched story

Aparna said...

What a man, hats off to him.
The woman will go on suffering,though this was an accident she will never be able to come to terms with this tragedy.
kudos to the man for being such a strength to his wife.
Liked your new template.

IndianPundit said...

Excellent.
The man deserve all the praise in this world.

You are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT that husbands blame their wives for anything that goes wrong in their homes. Even in those cases where he is responsible for it.

Cheers and this story teaches a lession to all the husbands in this world.

aleem azmi said...

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Roshmi Sinha said...

Nice post!

Great to know... folks like this gentleman are still around to uphold the values of family and togetherness, of sharing... a bond of a lifetime.

It is incidents/stories like this that reinforces/restores our faith in the concept of 'family' and 'marriage'.

Doodleduck said...

Heartfelt condolences to the couple.....
Good for the husband!!

as for the rest of them who blamed the wife - u know what...people feel pain only when they themselves are hurt....if it is somebody else then oh what fun to really rub it in and if possible along with some salt and chillies. It is just third grade mentality and like I keep saying - literate doesnot mean educated(read it somewhere)

Silver said...

i am glad that the husband had stucked strong behind the wife despite whatever the debate may take whichever side. No one had wanted it. Not the time to pin blame. Support was the main thing. A good man and a wise one indeed.

~Silver

Nona said...

Thanks for sharing the incident. It was a good learning for me. Hope this helps others too.

Thousif Raza M.B said...

excellent write up really, the world can be a really bad place when you do some mistakes which are irreparable, but still i accolade the husband for standing by her, really hats of for them both, cause husbands can be pretty bad at these times

she is not guilty at all, a very strong write up really good

take care and keep writing......

Suman said...

good

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