Just now was watching K3G on TV. Amitabh, the father asks SRK ( son) to leave the house because he got married against the father’s wishes.
Yesterday’s morning papers screamed Father locks 21 year old daughter in a room because she got married to a boy of different religion against father’s wishes. And the father filed a case against the boy.
Also met the son of a family acquaintance. He was upset because his parents had severed all ties with him because he had got married to a girl not from their caste and the father took it as a blow to his ego and a slap on his reputation.
All these similar incidences prove one thing, if the children don’t bow down to the wishes of father or parents with regard to their marriage, then the parents have the right to disown their children. as if the children are some commodity which can be owned or thrown away if doesn’t come to the expectations.
I just don’t understand that when the parents who live for their children, whose life revolves around their children, who are ready to do any thing to see a smile on their faces, who don’t think about their own personal comforts or discomforts but want to give the best of every thing to them even if it is beyond their capacity, suddenly change their tunes and becomes the villain in the life of their own children just because the children wants to spend the life with someone of their choice.
Does the family name, personal ego, IZZAT, society’s opinion takes precedence over the happiness and wishes of the children?
I don’t understand how choosing a life partner of one’s own choice spoils the reputation of family that too in today’s scenario?
How can parents impart such severe punishment to their children just because they didn’t listen to them? When the children are young, they commit so many mistakes ( although I don’t consider marrying outside the community as a mistake) the parents let go and try to ignore most of their mistakes or the parents try to fulfill all the possible desires of the children and give in to their children’s desires then why so much objection over the choice of life partner?
Why do parents doubt the judgement of their children when it comes to the matter of their marriage? If they think that the children are not mature enough to take the right decisions regarding their marriage then how can they think that the children are ready for marriage or shoulder the responsibility of matrimonial life?
Do the parents think that they are the better judge of what is good for their children? Do they think that the life partner chosen by them will be the ideal for their offspring? If so then why do so many arranged marriages also fail?
Another thing which surprises me is that the parents who literally throw their children out of their house or life, stop communicating with them , over a period of time mellows down and reconcile with the children.
Many a times I have seen after the birth of the grand child , or seeing the happiness of the couple the anger of parents specially the father cools down and then he starts sending feelers to the estranged children and then the things are back to normal ---- a happy family life.
I am sure it is the desire and the grandfatherly emotions along with the love for the own flesh and blood that makes the father let their feelings become more important than their egos and finally accept the new relation.
If the parents punish the children for taking the decision regarding their life on their own, won’t the children feel insecure ? will they ever gain the confidence to take decisions in their life independently.
Parents want children to become independent, take their own decisions, become responsible, then why do they discourage them and raise obstacles when they want to take the most important step in their life?
If parents have such an adamant attitude towards their children, then who will help the children overcome the teething problems of the new life? To whom the children will turn to in times of distress?
And God forbids if something goes wrong with the new relation then where will the children go for help and support? Will they feel comfortable to approach their parents to sort out their problems and help them find a way?
And when most of the time parents accept the new member in their family then why not give in gracefully in the initial stages and respect the decisions taken by the children. I am sure it will save much of heart breaks, sufferings and ill feelings towards each other.
But Yes, if the parents have some objections towards such issues then they should at least make the children understand their apprehensions, their doubts, their fears and the risk involved I suppose more than the caste, religion issues, what is more important is the economic parity, education, family background .
I have not heard of any case where the parents have not succumbed to the pressures of their inner self , their love for the children and have welcomed the children with their new relationships in their arms.
Then there are parents who inspite of knowing that the children are taking some wrong steps in their life, and who will not listen to their advice, still try to ignore and overlook the faults of their children.
After all BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER. We all know it.